All of us men have been brainwashed into this mindset: The sex drive is something that is leading us to sin. That’s a lie. Your sex drive is something that is designed for you to enjoy the most intimate physical pleasure God has given to man in marriage. Don’t deceive yourself into blaming your genetic design.
This entry has been inspired by the book Every Young Man’s Battle by Fred Stoeker and Stephen Arterburn
Most men have problems with lust, pornography and masturbation. If you don’t, please stop reading this. This is not for you. But if you do have problems with it, then you’re probably like me.
The tendency for us, is we try to blame our downfalls on something other than our area of responsibility. When we fall into the temptation of lust and masturbation, we tend to blame it on our sex drive. We try to justify our conscience into telling ourselves that we’re men. We try to soothe the sin in telling ourselves that it’s natural and it cannot be helped.
The natural sex drive
We are all built with sex drives. It is God’s design. For us men, our sex drive is definitely stronger. Our bodies are designed to desire sex and to be attracted to the opposite sex. That’s normal. That’s natural.
Every seventy two hours, we desire a sexual release. The natural tendency is that we have nocturnal emissions or what is better known as ‘wet dreams’. That’s normal. That’s natural.
The natural sex drive is controllable. It can be pushed aside. You can say ‘no’ to it anytime. It is not able to control you.
Now that we know the natural sex drive and what it’s about, let me introduce you to the sumo sex drive.
When you look at pornography and fantasize about sexually arousing thoughts, your natural sex drive gets bloated up. It gets fed. And unlike any other appetite, the sumo sex drive is insatiable until it is satisfied by a sexual release.
Think of it this way, your sex drive is a sumo wrestler. It oftentimes gets up and provokes you to a sumo wrestling match. You cannot refuse.
Whenever you feed the sumo, you will easily lose and get pushed out of the ring. That is the time you choose to fall into sin and lust and masturbation. He wins.
The only way to win in this sumo wrestling match is to starve the sumo sex drive. And if and when you do starve it, it rapidly loses weight – until you can push it around easily out of the ring.
The thing is, whenever it provokes you and you have to fight, you are also given the choice to either feed it or starve it. It is during those times that you have to make a crucial decision. Your chances of winning isn’t decided when you’re pushing with it in the ring. Your chances of winning is decided when you are given the choice to either feed or starve it.
Here’s the best way to go: Fasting. You don’t just try to starve the sumo, you try to focus on God. Starving the sumo is a matter of the heart in light of your love for God. If you are authentic in your relationship with Him, you will have no problem starving the sumo each time he provokes you.
Fast your sumo to death.
Thing is, it doesn’t die. It only gets weak.
Besides, you’re gonna want your sumo in marriage. For your wife.
Always remember that your sex drive is not the problem. It’s your discipline in starving or feeding the sumo that’s the problem.
Choose God. Know that He wants the best for you. Starve your sumo sex drive. How?
1) By controlling your eyes just as Job did.
“I made a covenant with my eyes not to look lustfully at a girl.” – Job 31:1
2) By taking captive every thought.
“We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.” – 2 Corinthians 10:5
3) By setting your heart on God
“Flee the evil desires of youth, and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart.” – 2 Timothy 2:22
Practicing these three is developing a habit. Always remember that feeding the sumo is a habit. Impurity is a habit. Likewise, purity is a habit.
Live a life that practices the habit of glorifying God.