I’m not about to burst your bubble. I’m not about to say that you won’t get married. I’m not about to declare your life to be one of divine single-hood (singleness?). But here’s one thing I want to tell you: There’s a myth that’s circulating around Single Christians today. And it’s termed as “God’s Best”.
Webmaster’s Note: This post was taken from one of my raw, personal posts: “The Inaccuracy of the Term ‘Finding the One’“.
Let’s be clear about it: God wants what is best for us. That’s true. It includes good things and things that we don’t necessarily deem as ‘good’ during the time – such as discipline, consequences of our actions, pruning, or a calling for a higher cause. In any case, we know that there is such a thing as predestination and free will – and they coexist.
It’s such a mind-blowing concept.
How can predestination coexist with free will? Aren’t they mutually exclusive? Because otherwise, it will be illogical.
Yes. You’re right.
And no, you’re wrong.
You’re right in the sense that humanly speaking, it’s true. It’s illogical to have free will and predestination at the same time.
You’re wrong in the sense that it doesn’t have to be logically sound for it to be true. There are things higher than what we can see, hear, think, smell, do or touch. Things higher than the fullest extent of our knowledge.
And if you think that’s unfair. Well… Deal with it.
“Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain.” – Psalm 139:6
The Myth that’s Grown too Big
There are books that romanticized the idea of your future partner in life. They coined it your ‘the one’ or your ‘God’s best’, and other such terms. It’s something that is rooted in the concept of predestination. That God has ordained someone to be born to be your partner in life someday.
While I do not want to disagree with this concept, it is well nigh damaging to think that there is that one person who is to be your partner. Your ‘Mr or Ms Right’. Well what if you went ahead and fell in love with a Mr or Ms Wrong? What then?
Will your Mr Right go ahead and fall in love with his version of Ms Wrong too?
It begins to give us the idea that one wrong romance can send the ‘God’s best’ system into a tailspin. And that’s where it gets dangerous.
One Wrong Romance
When you’re married and you tell yourself that you married Mr Wrong and you deserve your Mr Right, it’s a fallacy. As far as God is concerned, YOU ARE MARRIED TO YOUR MR RIGHT.
You’ve exchanged vows, you’ve spent memories together, you’ve committed your life to each other.
Does it mean that whoever you come across to marry automatically becomes your God’s best?
I’m not really concerned about that.
What I’m concerned about is that you learn to choose very carefully who you spend the rest of your life with.
But what I’m more concerned about is, are you the ideal person with whom your future partner in life would spend his / her own life with?
The Lazy Romantic
Men today who are cooped up with the myth of God’s best tend to relax. Tend to stay at home. Tend to go with the flow of life. There’s no need for time to invest in the gym, no need for time to invest in reading books to grow intellectually, no need for time to go out and socialize.
She’ll just come. And she’ll be beautiful. And I’ll love her. And we’ll get married and so on and so forth…
See where the idea of “God’s best” leads?
Predestination exists. It is accepted. But you are blocking off free will from this picture.
What if Ms Right thinks you’re a couch potato? What if she thinks that you’re not funny? What if she thinks you’re not her type? She has free will you know. And she doesn’t think you’re her “God’s best”.
Go out. Read books. Go to the gym. Serve in ministry. Do what every guy looking for real romance would do. Develop yourself to be the ideal man. Someone who Ms Right would joyfully and proudly call as her Mr Right.
Don’t be a lazy romantic.
Don’t get me wrong. Your God’s best exists. But you’ll have to do your best to get God’s best for you.