Why Marriage Cannot Save you

As single men and women, we all look forward to that glorious day when we will be married to the person we love. It is something that we all hope and aspire for. In a world saturated with pornography, sex and indulgence, lust is rampant. And we think that the solution is marriage – isn’t it?

Don't wait for marriage to change you

This entry has been inspired by the book Every Young Man’s Battle by Fred Stoeker and Stephen Arterburn

A sanctuary against lust?

We think that once we get married, lust is not an issue anymore. Hey, we can satisfy our sexual desires in a way that is legitimate and morally acceptable to God in marriage, can we not? Yes, of course we can. But that doesn’t mean that we won’t get tempted with lust anymore.

From a very young age, people now are very vulnerable to getting exposed with pornography. And young Christian men and women struggle with lust ever since they can remember. Let’s face it, one reason why we look forward to marriage so much is because we have this mindset that it will somehow free us from this bondage of lust.

It most certainly won’t. Why? Simply because marriage does not, in any way, change who you are.

A piece of paper

I’m not saying that marriage should be taken for granted. No. Marriage is a piece of paper that testifies to your choice of committment and love to another person. It is proof that you have decided on abiding to a higher law. A law above your feelings and emotions and time. It is a law outside of this world. It is a law of God.

That piece of paper is vital. It is important. Never do business with a person who says otherwise.

But a piece of paper is not meant to change who you are. You are the only one who can change yourself – by making a choice. A choice to love and follow God and reject sin and lust.

That is why so many people wake up and realize that a wedding ring isn’t magic. A wedding ring is not a catalyst to changing who they are. And that is exactly because it is not meant to do so. A wedding ring is meant to be proof that you have decided to love someone unconditionally and nothing else. It is not meant to change you.

Don’t wait ’til marriage

Decide to fight lust now. Look at the truths about lust in the Bible and how devastating it is to just let it run loose in your life. It’s not easy. It takes decision, disciple and the Holy Spirit to help you overcome lust. But the alternative is devastating – living life with an addiction to lustful thoughts and sensuality.

Lust can destroy your marriage. Don’t wait until marriage for you to change. Look at all the adulterous relationships happening in our world. Married men are hooked into adultery,  addicted to pornography and defeated into masturbation. Don’t think that once you’re married, masturbation goes out the window. It doesn’t.

Marriage is not about getting sex. If you make it so, you’re not really committing to love unconditionally. Sex is a part of marriage, not vice versa.

Lust is something that consistently knocks on your door. Marriage is not something that can block it out.

Marriage can’t save you.

Don’t wait until you get there. Make a decision to stand against lust today.