People are relational beings. We have friends here and there, we have family members and relatives in a lot of places. We have our best friend, our close friend, our tight friend – you name it. We even have pets with whom we believe we have a relationship with. Some relationships can last long – yes it can last a lifetime. Still some relationships end up closing doors.
This entry has been inspired by a very good friend of mine with whom I have gained wisdom with and have grown together in Christ with – to you I dedicate this entry.
This post is also inspired by my relationship with a very special person with whom I have learned with and gained wisdom in Christ with.
Oftentimes we are faced with major decisions we have to make with the relationships we have in our lives. A really close and tightly woven relationship can make things ultimately joyful or dreadfully devastating for us. Relationships in our lives make out a big part of us. And those relationships always come to a point wherein you have to make a choice.
When push comes to shove and a really close relationship starts to falter and break
There will come a point in time where the tides of our humanity will push us to misunderstandings, emotional instability, arguments and disagreements and what have you. We all make mistakes and sooner or later we will disappoint. Even the closest woven relationships are not exempt from this – all relationships must go through hard times.
And then it all boils down to a choice. “Will I choose the relationship over what has happened?”, “Will I overlook the offense?”, “Will I step back and let it cool off?”, “Will I choose to end the relationship and close the door?”
There isn’t always a happy ending
Our mentality of a happy ending is a never-ending, ultimately joyful relationship. But sometimes that relationship is just not what God had planned for you. If God takes away a relationship in your life do not view it as a failure in your part – because that is how we often view it. Look at it in God’s perspective.
Because God didn’t want that relationship for you, in His eyes, it is a success.
And if He wants you to learn from it and to see if you’re going to make the right decisions about what has happened then He will be the one to give the relationship back to you if He so desires. God is God.
When doors are being closed and you’re left outside
I’m a very relational person. I love talking with other people – sharing stories and insights. I love to communicate. And sure, I make friends here and there but I’ve also had my share of being left outside a closed door.
Just lately one of my dearest friends told me that he/she was closing his/her doors for me. It was emotionally devastating for me. And I had to go through a time wherein I so desperately held on to God. I asked so many questions like: “Lord, why did this happen?”, “Lord why did you allow us to meet in the first place?”, “Lord will it ever go back to the way it was?” “Lord…” And the questions went on and on.
My quiet time more than doubled lately. I sought God desperately and talked with Him all the time. It was a very intimate time between me and God and slowly but surely, I got His answer: “Continue to love unconditionally.”
See, I had two choices. One, take the pride road – I could’ve thought of all my accomplishments and blessings and about who I am and who I’m going to be. I could’ve focused on the closed door and the rejection and told myself “I don’t need this anyway. I hope that this person sees the mistake he/she has done in leaving me out and closing the door for me.” Right there and then I knew that if I made this choice and walked on this road, our relationship would end and there would be no room even for friendship.
My second choice was to follow what God told me. “Love unconditionally.” It is extremely hard especially when my emotions betray me. If the first choice would kill the relationship, this one will take a HUGE amount of humility – being already rejected and knowing the doors are closed for me. I followed the choice that would glorify my God. And what He told me amazed me.
Yes there are locks but God holds all the keys.
“Closed doors will be closed doors. But God is God.” That’s what I told a friend who is going through, I believe, the most relationally devastating time in his life. Closed doors can only be just that – closed doors. Don’t make it any bigger than your faith in God. I believe that even if doors are closed on us in relationships, God can open it up in His time and in His ways.
We are merely stewards of the ‘duplicate’ keys that He’s lent us. In the end, God holds all the keys. I sought God and the questions in my mind became fewer and fewer. I decided to just trust in Him – He planned it all out. That closed door was ordained by God even before time began. It doesn’t mean it’ll stay closed forever. I still hope in my relationship with that person – that someday he/she will open it up again for me.
“The king’s heart is in the hand of the LORD; he directs it like a watercourse wherever he pleases.” –Proverbs 21:1
God can change hearts. God can open doors. Trust in Him completely.
God is God. Don’t make Him any less than He is. Lord of Heaven and Earth. The heavens declare His majesty. “I am the Lord your God.” He says. Believe it. Don’t fear about closed doors. Fear God and put your complete trust in Him.
In your eyes, closed doors may be failures but in God’s eyes it may well be success – success that the relationship has stopped there because it isn’t meant to go any further under His sovereign will. And that’s just one of the millions of possible reasons. We can never really understand God especially in the aspect of relationships – but that’s where real trust and faith in Him is put to the test.
I choose to trust God.