Lots of people I know are getting engaged, married and pregnant. All in God’s time. There’s the other side of the coin though – a handful of people who have had their marriage on the rocks or who are in the process of getting shipwrecked. Why is this happening? How can it stop?
There are 3 major factors why annulment and divorce is in its peak in this day and age. Let’s go through each one:
1) The Rise of Pornography
Number 1 reason is pornography – this shapes men’s projection of sexuality of our culture and society today. Here are some shocking stats of pornography:
- 9 out of 10 boys are exposed to pornography before the age of 18
- Porn has a global annual revenue of $20 billion
- 7% of porn performers have HIV
- 79% of porn stars have used marijuana, 50% have used ecstasy, 44% have used cocaine, and 39% have used hallucinogens because they can’t deal with the way they are being treated
- 1 in 8 of all searches online are for erotic content
- Men are 543% more likely to look at porn than females
- Those who have ever committed adultery are 218% more likely to look at porn
- Those who have ever engaged in paid sex are 270% more likely to look at porn
- Those who are happily married are 61% less likely to look at porn
- Those with teen children at home are 45% less likely to look at porn
- More than 1 in 5 searches are for pornography on mobile devices
- About 64-68% of young adult men and about 18% of women use porn at least once every week
And here’s the clincher – According to numerous studies, prolonged exposure to pornography leads to:
- A diminished trust between intimate couples – If you can cheat on her with pornography, it’s not too far off that you can do so in real life.
- The belief that promiscuity is the natural state – There are tons of porn portraying cheating on a spouse. It makes it look as if ‘everybody’s doing it’.
- Cynicism about love or the need for affection between sexual partners – Love in marriage is 2-way, not a self-centered monopoly.
- The belief that marriage is sexually confining – because of all the exposure to sexual positions and escapades from porn, you are bent to think that marriage is boring and you can’t get out of it.
- A lack of attraction to family and child-raising – The pumped-up desire for sex driven by pornography will seem as if sex is the ultimate end to sex when it’s not.
The next time you think of watching pornography, think of your marriage and your spouse and how it will subtly gnaw at your relationship.
2) The World’s Approval
“It’s okay to get divorced.”
That’s what people nowadays say about marriage. Some years ago and this statement would have been considered outrageous. Today, it’s the norm.
There’s a huge gap that has happened with the world’s standards today. Conflicts happen. When the seed of conflict is allowed to grow in the soil of pride, it will destroy your marriage. Don’t let conflict grow in the wrong soil. Plant it in humility and in God’s truths and it will grow to be a strong bond between couples.
The truth is, divorce doesn’t just ‘happen’. It’s not ‘okay’. It’s far from okay. It’s devastating. You don’t want to go there – and neither do I.
Realizing that divorce is the farthest thing from ‘okay’ puts your guard up against it. Even if the world approves of divorce and break-ups and annulment, it doesn’t mean it’s the right thing to do.
3) Forsaking God’s Role
Without God, your marriage is a 2-way, conflict-packed relationship that will constantly drag you down – emotionally then physically then financially, and the list goes on and on. The same is true with any romantic relationship. There has to be a mediator between your differences with your spouse and vice versa.
I’m getting married soon to a wonderful, wonderful woman and we’ve had our set of conflicts. I can honestly say that without God, we would’ve called it quits somewhere along the way. There were moments when it was remembering how God put us together as a couple that made us find our way back to each other.
I want you and your spouse to experience the same thing.
Marriage is a ceremony that starts with the Lord – it should continue on with Him, and ultimately, it should end with Him.
Don’t fall into the traps behind breakups, annulment and divorce.
Here are some things to help you overcome the myths of pornography:
- 6 Actionable Steps to Overcoming Pornography
- Competing with Porn
- The First Step to Overcoming Lust, Pornography and Addiction