Why loving someone too much can be dangerous

I’ve been talking about love and how to love a person of the opposite sex with my previous posts. I hope to elaborate more on why it’s dangerous to love someone too much in this entry. Does it really happen? What are the consequences of loving someone too much?

Been through a lot lately. I haven’t been posting all that frequent as you might have noticed. Been busy with fixing stuff for work like my NBI clearance, TIN, SSS, etc. It’s amazing how many things you need to do to get employed. This post is inspired by my relationship with a very special someone with whom I have learned with and gained wisdom with.

 

Getting too close can make you lose focus

Getting too close can make you lose focus

It all starts when you lose focus

As you all know I’ve been pursuing someone. Now, even if I blog about love and emotions, it doesn’t mean I’m exempt from committing the same mistakes that I talk about avoiding. In fact, I know that I am very prone to those same mistakes even if I haven’t really been into a serious relationship with the opposite sex before. And within this time of my pursuit of this certain lady’s heart, I know that I’ve committed this mistake – I lost my focus.

My eyes turned from God to her and somehow I knew, I won’t get away with it. God wanted my attention back. I felt the difference – I wasn’t able to blog much because ‘it’ was not there. I did not crave for wisdom as much as I did before. I did not have that certain intensity in prayer as before. I lost my focus on Him and focused too much on my pursuit and love for this lady.

It gets dangerous

When you focus on the person and love him/her too much then you tend to push your friends, family, work, and all of the other things, aside. When you push those things, which are physical and you have physical relationship with, aside, how much more do you think will you be able to shove God away together with all of them?

Focusing on the person too much and loving him/her too much without focus on God anymore will invite the lies of the Devil in your relationship. It will invite worry, possessiveness, insecurity, jealousy, and will ultimately make your relationship a hindrance to God. Why? Because you’ve lost focus on the One who is in control of your life – therefore you’ve lost your trust that He allows all things to happen in a relationship.

The tendency is, you will want to be in control when you put God out of the picture or when you shove Him aside. And being in-control makes you vulnerable to all the things I’ve mentioned earlier (worry, insecurity, jealousy, etc.)

 

You need to step back to have better focus

You need to step back to see the whole picture

It’s like a picture

When you’re too near a picture and you’re too focused, you don’t see the beauty of it. In fact, it becomes blurry when your eyes get too near. It’s the same with a relationship. You can’t get too focused and too near with your man/woman because it doesn’t let you see the beauty of it – it only makes things blurry because you can’t see God anymore.

How do we deal with it?

Just like getting too near a picture makes your vision blurry, you have to step back to see the beauty of it again. Step back in your relationship. Step back in your focus and love for your man/woman and ask God to take control again. Find Him again because you’ve lost sight of Him. Loosen your relationship to make room for God. It’s all about glorifying Him through your relationship – and if He’s out of the picture, how will that happen? God wants in, and unless He’s in, the picture will never turn into a masterpiece.

Comments

  1. Roy says

    Love is probably one of the greatest and most dangerous forces to ever move humanity. Anything too much is probably bad for anyone. As stated above, simply for the love of someone, one can do anything and by anything that includes bad things. Though in this case i believe that one cannot truly gauge or see if they are too much "in love" as during in that state anyone would not care of faults and would accept compromises… until it is too late.

    However in that context what about loving God too much(regardless religion)? It drives people to become overzealous, close-minded,and most of all these extremists stop at nothing to promote their love for their beliefs / faith. Though i sometimes doubt one can love God too much as his love for his children is obviously infinite.

    • says

      Good insight Roy.
      I think there is no such thing as loving God too much. Because if you love Him and hold Him as your focus then you're on the right track and will obey His commands to love one another too.

      You're right – nothing can ever compare to the greatness and the dangerous nature of love. That's why we have to know it's author in order for us to know the truth about it. Only the lies direct love to a bad direction.

    • cheychoy says

      Roy, i think your matter of "loving God too much" has something to do with religion. I believe that the God I serve is not all about religion, a set of beliefs, rules and templates. The God that I've heard, seen and know of is the One True God who is relational, infinite, the way, the life, the most loving, just, glorious, jealous, all powerful, victorious, holy, righteous of all and more!

      And everyone, If the God that we claim to love is like what His Word claims He is, then for sure we can never really "love him too much" because we cannot out-give or out-love the One who gave it all for us.

      Moreover, God is love. It's not 'love is God' which is the other way around. If we want to know more about love or anything else, then we can always turn to Him who designed love itself. He invented love, coined the term, exemplified it from the beginning. In the Bible, we'll see the pattern of God sending prophets to save His people calling them to turn away from our ways and go back to Him.

      For bonus reading:
      <a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1%20John+4:18-20&version=NIV"&gt;
      1 John 4:18-20 (New International Version)

      • cheychoy says

        Plus another bonus reading:

        Romans 5:8 (NIV)
        But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

        • says

          Thank you for sharing your insights! Something to think about.

          And yeah, loving God is far from following a set of rules and traditions. It's a relationship – just like loving a real person.

  2. A*i* says

    Thank you
    You just made me realize why my life is going down
    I believe GOD has sent his message to through this

  3. Clarisse says

    I like this post as well Sean! Indeed loving too much is extremely dangerous. Thank you for this reminder. :)

  4. jazz says

    thanks for writing this, i recently fell in love with this girl from church, i have been in 2 long unsuccessful relationships already, i am 24, just finished my degree, and am a christian, but not a full on one if u get what i mean. This girl made me crazy, and i was madly in love with her, at the start everything was good, i was happy, i felt the romance, but then as time goes by, i felt like i have lost my focus on everything, god, friends, work……..just totally focused on her, as just as u mentioned, my heart was constantly fighting with jealousy, cos i got very sensative becos i don't wanna lose her, and then i get worry, and u know……. possessiveness, insecurity, i felt all this. I came to a point where she was so important to me that i didn't want to spend too much time in church, but with her only.

  5. says

    Love was never designed to be held back. If one holds back love, it's called hypocrisy! Love to the fullest. Don't withhold!

    If you get hurt because things did not worked out, then you can say to yourself… "I've honestly love you…" …."
    … Love is sacred… treat it as one.

  6. alleli says

    thanks for the message..I realized I made the right choice of breaking up with him and restoring my relationship to God…I can't serve two masters…And relationship should help you grow in your relationship to God rather than to draw you farther away from Him… =)

    • says

      Glad you gave time to think about your relationship. And praise God that you chose to put Him first :)
      Relationships play tug-o-war with the place of God in our lives at times.

  7. chai says

    Thank you for this really.. its true loving too much is dangerous makes me paranoid, jealous and feeling taken for granted or something else.. it can really ruin a really good relationship with someone.. but i have never left god or forgot him.. he’s always the one i talked to at night especially when i feel this pain in my heart.. praying for his guidance, to clear my mind and clean my heart.. i think its not only on loving god we have to focus on, we also need to stop and know ourselves more and love ourselves more and be content of what we have and cherish it. Life is beautiful.. everything has its reason may it be bad or good.. we just have to learn how to handle it.

    • says

      Hey Chai,
      Always remember: Love God
      Love other people as yourself – meaning you have to learn to love yourself so you can love other people right. :)

  8. Mszlovely says

    Love is very Dangerous …I didnt realize that until i read this passage…I feel like i have put God aside out of my relationship and it wasn’t too long ago when i talked to my significant other about putting God more into our relationship and here i am doing this…I fell soo much better after reading this .I feel like i just let all of my worries go to God..I let the devil play with my mind and i ask god for forgiveness…I’m so glad that i read this

    Thank You :)

    • says

      I hope and pray that you remember this truth in your life :)
      It is dangerous the moment you put someone or something above God. It becomes idolatry and dependence on another mortal, imperfect, temporary being.

  9. Johnben says

    “Too much Love will Kill You”- Freddie Mercury

    I can relate to this. Thus, I am afraid those guys that told me- they love me so much. I am afraid that they will not be able to face separation- any form of separation.

    For that special reason, I practice not to get too close to any guy ( and I am a guy).
    That was last time. Now, I am making a move, but with a clear conscious that separation will always occur at the end of the tunnel. I simply need to embrace every moments before my time run out.

    I had few issues about myself. I just cannot control myself on few predicament. I just wonder if I could seek opinions and advices from you.

    Thank You.

    Johnben

  10. KC says

    Thank you for this post. I have been suffering terribly from heartache. I know I love this person too much but I can’t seem to shake it. I know I need to focus on God. I know I need Jesus but I am caught up in what I feel I miss about this person. I have to break free but I don’t know how. I cry out for help and I know He hears me but I hurt just the same. I know I am grieving Him. I know He does not want this of me. I’m just so broken. I am really struggling to get it together.

  11. Ishanie says

    Thanks so much for this article! This is exactly what I needed to hear…I’m right smack in the middle of the situation…funny enough, God created the space knowing this would happen and sent him to Florida for two weeks…it’s been an emotional rollercoaster for me because I’ve lost FOCUS. The insecurity, the worries and the lies are all dead on as you say..now I need to know how to step back and how to start focusing on God and having a strong relationship with Him again.

    • says

      Hi Ishanie,
      I hope and pray that you will find your security in our God alone and focus on His love :)
      It’s really a tricky situation when your emotions are playing tricks on you. The heart is a very deep part of us. Only God will ever fill it.

  12. someone says

    This is all very true.I find myself thinking less about God, and more about this person. But I can see what people are saying- when someone has qualities which are just so attractive, it’s really difficult not to. I feel that I may as well just not bother, and stay single forever. Anyway, I’m finding that I’m way too distracted- I just think about running away with this person. Love is VERY dangerous-that’s for sure. So, what mindstate do you guys try and attain? Do you think about the person at all?Do you try and think about God all of the time? I used to have a very close relationship with God- it’ still close, but I feel like that I need to get into the swing of things again. How do you tackle strong emotions? I just feel like I need my head flushed out.

    Thanks in advance.

  13. says

    Thank you – a very much needed blog post! It’s not so easy to keep our focus on the Lord, but it is necessary. This way, you don’t lose yourself in someone and it prevents bad stuff from happening. It is my prayer that I can remain focused on Him at all times, even when I fall in love with someone.

  14. jk says

    Am going thru it . Its the worst like even tho am in love everything he does or say to me .hurts me we be arguing everytime . We have two years together . N I have pushed my family away . It was all for him . And I am wrong but I need help to recover . From this pain. I love him but our relashionshi is not like before .

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