Why you Feel Ashamed after Masturbation

It’s such a taboo word for men and women alike. The word masturbation is generally avoided because of it’s secrecy and nature. When spoken out in public, it brings a hint of shame in you because it is such a private matter. And isn’t it such for all of us?

Ashamed

It is undeniable that we have appetites

This entry is inspired by my own struggles, experiences, and journey through manhood. By God’s grace and wisdom am I only able to share this with you. Also, check out the 6 Actionable steps to Overcome Pornography post.

Insatiable appetite

Our bodies are made to have certain appetites and cravings – which are all healthy for survival. We crave for food when we’re hungry. It’s a healthy appetite because we need food in order to have energy and in order to live. We crave for fun when we’re bored. It’s a healthy appetite because we need to regulate that energy we have to exercise our bodies and minds. We crave for sex and physical intimacy because we are designed by God for it in order to reproduce and enjoy it’s intimate pleasures.

These cravings and appetites are good and it is meant for our well-being. But it has been twisted and maliced for our destruction by the Devil. Our appetites have been turned on us by this consumer-driven world in which the mindset is “here”, “now”, “fast”, and “don’t deny me” – “me”, “me”, “me”.

You have to understand that the moment you let your appetite have it’s way in you, it becomes your god. And my oh my, how powerful that little god called appetite truly is.

It all starts in the mind

Appetite is triggered within the thought. Likewise self-control is also triggered within the thought. Only one of them can win.

“Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.” – 1 Peter 5:8

“It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control your own body in a way that is holy and honorable,  not in passionate lust like the pagans, who do not know God” – 1 Thessalonians 4:3-5

Self-control starts with a choice. A choice to say no malice-driven appetite (which the Bible describes as the evil desires of youth) and to say yes to God’s promises and lifestyle.

“Flee the evil desires of youth, and pursue righteousness, faith, love, peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart” – 2 Timothy 2:22

 

Ashamed of myself

Your body is satisfied – just for a while

Yep, you got that right. Your body becomes satisfied after the act. It is fulfilled temporarily. But why the empty feeling? Because pleasure for pleasure’s sake is meaningless. And in the act of masturbation, your spirit is fully ashamed and broken.

There is a distortion that happens in you when your body and spirit disagree. You feel it – it manifests itself in emotions and then it tries to pierce your thoughts into pondering the question ‘why’.

There is a bond between your body and spirit that you cannot explain. It is this same connection that gives you the idea that there must be life after death and it is also this same connection that gives you the idea that there must be a Creator behind all the questions of life and the majesty and impossibility of the universe.

This bond is real.

Why is the shame after the act of masturbation so real? So ‘feel-able’ ?

It is because this is a sin that is directly related to your own body. Therefore it is directly related to your own spirit. Directly related to your own soul and emotions.

“Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body” – 1 Corinthians 6:18

The only question you have to honestly ask yourself is, do you feel it?

Then there must be some truth in what I’m saying.

Think about it.

Comments

  1. says

    Sean ,dude that was a really weird post! There is nothing wrong about TOSSING OFF ! If someone feels ashamed afterward then they weren’t doing it right ! My wife asked me after we got married if I ever bounced the bologna anymore? I told her” honey your good,but I’m the best I ever had!”

  2. val says

    i have a question for you though, when was the last time you masturbated Sean? Do you mean, you stopped masturbating since the day you became a Christian? I am a believer, born again, Spirit-filled Christian, but I masturbate. Would you honestly answer my questions please?

    • says

      Hi Val,
      Kindly read the article again. The point is, I’m addressing the reason why we feel ashamed after masturbation. Nothing more, nothing less. As I’ve said, only by the grace of God can I address this topic.

      • jomsgalicia says

        Hi sean i’m also a christian but I masturbate .. I guess at least twice or once a week… you didn’t answer the question that did you stop masturbating after u became a christian? honestly please tell did u stop?

        • says

          Hello Joms,
          I want to ask you why you’re asking this. Would it help anyone if I answered a ‘yes’ ? Or perhaps a ‘no’ ?
          I think that you have to keep in mind what God’s Word says and personally meditate on it. That’s all. You don’t need to compare yourself to me :) or to anyone else for that matter – it will not solve anything for you.
          I hope you keep that in mind.

          • hi says

            a typical “christian” answer. they’re afraid of telling the truth. afraid of talking about reality.

          • Pedro says

            Quite frankly it’s none of your business if the guy masturbates or not, I’m married and a christian and I do sometimes though I’d rather not. He makes a very valid point and he used scripture to do it. If you don’t like his christian responses go look for a worldly response from some scientist that’ll give you the answer you want to hear. Why seek ungodly council from God fearing people if you’re just going to bash the guy for his reply. Btw sean great post, thank you

          • says

            Hey Pedro,
            Thanks! Glad you see things from another point of view. It’s our job to tell people about God’s Word whether they like it or not :) at least we did our part in warning others – if they don’t listen, it’s not our job anymore to persuade them. It’s the Holy Spirit’s job. God bless your humble heart bro

        • daniel says

          Does it matter to you? I will be the first to admit I still did masterbate since I became a Christian, for a long while. I had to pray and work at stopping. I had masterbated without any thoughts of anybody. But going back to the article the guilt faced with masturbation has to do with moral conscience. That is why many Christians face problems with it while you rarely see non Christians having guilt after masturbation, they don’t care. Christians who say they masturbate and have no guilt are either lying, not truly Christian, or experts at controlling their mind like yoda.

  3. Hann says

    Hi Sean,

    You know how sometimes we search for something in the internet and we find something else? Well, your post is amazing. To think, I’ve been asking that same question last night. God must have lead me to your website (via planetshakers in Manila announcement).

    Thank you for being such an encouragement in the world wide web. We need more Christians who aren’t afraid to tell the world what’s black and white according to God–Christians who are no longer satisfied with the ‘norms’ of this world.

    God bless!

    • says

      Hello Hann,

      I praise God for you and your encouraging words! I’m so glad that you dropped by. Will pray for you.
      As for me, this is my calling – to speak as God’s voice in the internet even if I am so unworthy.

      God bless you too!

  4. Ingrid says

    Real awesome post Sean.
    Christians should talk more openly “bout this kinda stuff.
    Its important to know that things like masturbation can damage your relationship with God.

    Gob Bless you, and keep it up

    • Nana says

      Masturbation is certainly damaging because it is a mortal sin, according to the Roman Catholic Church. I have been a victim of this sin for about 15 years since I was molested when I was a little girl. But through God’s miracle and wonderful grace, I’ve been set free from this bondage finally. I’m not saying I don’t feel tempted anymore because the demon seems to be redoubling his efforts to entrap me again. But every time he attacks me, I ALWAYS call on Jesus to save me. He ALWAYS does, no matter how wretched I feel and even if He seems to be far from me. It is during these moments when I am severely tested but God always claims victory in my behalf. As long as I give Him my will, He always lets me win against the struggle. And my prayer now if for God to take my life instead before I fall into this mortal sin again. I’d rather choose death than commit a mortal sin like this.

      • says

        Of course, when I mean death, I don’t mean that I’d commit suicide or anything like that. I know Jesus is forgiving but we must be severe with ourselves too if we want to defeat the evil, self-centered, blind self, within us. What good is it if we choose the pleasures on this earth and end up in spiritually dead in hell?

        • Daniel Neuhaus says

          My my what wonderful open minds you display :) My grandfather was molested at a young age as well. I was too. Satan can work through us quite well but I think God can work through us just as well if not more powerfully when our hearts are open. You’re very right in what you say “Better for a part of our body to burn in hell then our whole body”. Lol Not suicide of course ;) God bless you.

          • hastings_Boy says

            @Daniel Neuhaus, in some way or another almost all of us have experienced some sexual exploitations or pedophiliac acts in the past, it must be because those who did that also experienced it when they’re young and just repeating the same mistakes all over again… sad…. :(

  5. victor says

    Hey sean ,
    Man you already know how terrible it feels , idk how ! But I’m kinda scared thinking the temptation “appetite god”. You really have a great way to explain . Hopefully my prayers are heard , as they say if you help yourself, God will help you too ” .

    God bless .

  6. darkseraph says

    Hi Sean,

    What you have written have struck me hard. and it made me realize what i have been doing is bad.
    and yeah im not proud of it. Atleast, with what you have written you were able to make it clear why one feel ashame after doing such act. I know that it will not be easy to stop these urges immediately. especially if it became a habit already… but knowing why we feel it, and knowing the enemy which is this appetite that we can’t control. hopefully i will be able to regain myself from this shameful act. Thanks.

    By the way, I’m not a born-again. I’m actually a Roman Catholic. But i guess the important thing is we believe in the same God and we strive to be a good disciple and help each to become better person as a whole.

    • says

      Hey :)

      I really appreciate your honesty, buddy. And to tell you the truth, believing in the same God is not enough. You have to look into God’s Word to see what God demands for salvation – accept Christ in your heart as your Lord and Savior (take note, not only as your savior but as your Lord – meaning the one who calls the shots in your life) then you will be saved. No other thing is needed for you to be saved. The root of salvation is the biggest difference between Roman Catholics and born-again Christians. If there were no difference, there should be no separation :)

      • Mindy says

        “No other thing is needed for you to be saved.”

        This is HIGHLY not true. God doesn’t pick who is saved and who isn’t. Everyone can be saved, in fact there’s a place for all of us. You don’t just accept Christ and go and commit all the crimes/ sins you want. You repent. You worship him. You pray to him. You love him.

        It’s hard to imagine there are people out there that say “I accept Christ! Praise the Lord!!” BUT continue to do things that are unChrist like.

        Saying it IS not the way to get into heaven. LIVING the gospel is.

        • says

          As I’ve said, as both your LORD and Savior – meaning the one who calls the shots in your life -> consequently, that means obedience to His Word. Take note, I specifically used the word ‘consequently’ because it is an aftereffect / result of your being saved and it is NOT a reason behind your salvation. Salvation is solely based on confessing and accepting Christ into your life as your Lord and Savior.

        • David says

          Mindy,

          Part of accepting Jesus as your Lord and savior means that you don’t go out and continue to do the things that are wrong. Lets go back a little ways into history. A lord owned his property and the people there, if he told them to do something they didn’t question it, they just did it. Do you think if their lord said “Go and harvest the crops” that they went and burned the crops instead. Of course not, the same thing as Jesus tells us to “Go into all the world and preach the gospel to all creation.” we don’t go and lie to people about what God says.

          By the way some one who says “I accept Christ! Praise the Lord!!” BUT continue to do things that are unChrist like are called hypocrites and the bible has something for them as well. Mindy I encourage you to study the bible and read what God has to say about salvation. If it helps go online and look up a study plan for it, I think you will get a revelation from God.

          Sean, great post man. I’m glad to see that someone isn’t afraid to address such a topic. This is a hard thing to fight, it is definitely not easy overcoming the desires of this world. However, by God’s grace and his power we can and will overcome the world just as our Lord did. I’m praying that God will lead your ministry to great heights and that people from all around the world will be touched and inspired by the word that God has given you.

          • says

            Hey David,
            Thank you so much for your powerful insights. Praise God for His grace, wisdom and blessings so that I was led to write this. God bless you bro.

          • Hiro says

            If you recieve God your now a son of God for it is written in John 1:12-as many as recieved him to them gave he power to become the sons of God even to those who believes in his name.And now your a son of God but if you dont feed you soul you will not grow spirutaly and continue to do those bad thing, but it is not like you recieved God and like POOF! you stopped all bad things its not like that some christians you see that is doing bad things is on the step but some are the one the didnt grow.If you recieved christ in your heart seriously your now a son even you sin you are even his son but God has punishment for you. It doesnt mean your a hypocrite if you are saved and doing those bad things.If you are saved and you sin,your salvation will not be taken for example you sins against you father now your even still his son.

  7. says

    Some people feel shame after masturbation, but that is because they are taught to feel shameful about expressing their own sexual impulses. Religion does this, Masturbation is natural and there is nothing wrong with it. Stop projecting your insecurities on the rest of the world.

    • says

      Hey Brian,
      I’m really sorry that you think and feel this way. Perhaps this is because you do not believe in Christianity nor God nor the Bible. Because if you really do then you should know the truth about it.

      • hi says

        there is no real truth. there is no black and white in the world. everyone is different. you totally just shot brian down and told him he was wrong because he didn’t believe in the same thing you did. that’s not fair.

        • says

          There are real truths in this world Justin. Jump out of the window of a 3-storey building and you’ll realize that the truth about the law of gravity is absolute.
          As such, the truth of the Word of God is also an absolute.

  8. Jake says

    Hi Sean,

    I am a christian, but I do masturbate, though I don’t feel ashamed after masturbating medically speaking masturbation is actually pretty normal and healthy. A study showed that masturbation or sexual intercourse is healthy as it will help the heart and help prevent cancer. One thing about the Bible is that it is pretty broad it never mentions about specifically masturbation, thought it tells of self-discipline which could mean a number of things.

  9. NoChainsOnMe says

    Great posting! You are in the Word. Pray to the Lord to take this burden from you! He did it for me.
    I used to do it 2+ times a day. Now I have done it once in 7 wks, by the grace of God.

    Read 1 John 2:16. “everything that belongs to the world – the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and pride in one’s lifestyle – is not from the Father but is from the world.” (NASB)
    This verse makes it clear that sexual lust is not godly. Do you feel lust when you masturbate? If you’re honest, youll say yes. Then it is clear that it is not right. The more you feed lust, the more it grows – just like a fire.
    I never felt guilty doing it before I was saved. Since I was saved, God has lifted the burden of an out of control sex drive from my shoulders. I don’t feel guilty about the idea of doing it now, either. But I don’t want to fill my mind with lust either. Thats why I avoid it.
    To everyone who says it’s normal and can’t be avoided – everything is possible with the help of the Lord.
    If you are resisting temptation but stumble, get back up and keep fighting. There is no reason to give up to the flesh.
    And for all you Christians who are saying it’s ok: read 1 John 2:3-5. Plenty of people say they are Christians. But those who are not following the Lord’s commands don’t know the Lord. You aren’t a follower of Jesus if you refuse to obey because it’s not convenient or your body wants something else. I pray that you all will resist lust and ask the Lord to help you with it.
    I don’t judge anyone for sinning. Believe me, I was deeply sinful before, and I needed love not judgment. But don’t lie to yourselves either. Giving yourselves over to lust is wrong and damaging.

  10. Mind says

    The root of salvation is the biggest difference between Roman Catholics and born-again Christians. If there were no difference, there should be no separation :)

    WOOW!it struck me of what you’ve said..nice one bro

  11. Ced says

    The answer: the reason why we feel like crap when we jack off is because we were meant to have a partner. It’s a very lacking feeling when we don’t have someone else on the other end.

    • lry says

      Ced,

      I agree people are ashamed because we are all meant to have a partner. Having a need for sex is not always lust. It is only lust when you have a person(s) in mind. It is God given to have urges because we are made to procreate. Even animals go into heat. It is good to know that having sexual urges is normal. You are not a sinner or evil or perverted for experiencing a God given feeling. You must simply understand that it is for preparation for the time in which you and your partner share intimacy and thus eventually reproduces.

  12. Nathan George says

    I’m a male Baptist Christian trying to figure out if masturbation is wrong.

    I know everyone says that you have to lust when masturbating, but I don’t. I simply do it for 2 reasons: to feel good but more importantly to prevent myself from having sexual thoughts. When I masturbate, I actually have less lustful thoughts because I don’t have the sexual tension. (I understand this is only temporary and I should strive to have a wife.) When I don’t masturbate, I have way more sexual and lustful thoughts (which I’m not proud of at all). Masturbation also hasn’t taken over my life. I do it either every other day or once a week. God it still (and will always be) the most important aspect of my life! In fact, I have heard that the devil could put the ” shame of masturbation” in us to make us have more sexual thoughts (sin).

    So if I don’t lust and masturbation hasn’t taken over my life, why is it wrong–based strictly on a Biblical standpoint, not just a “I feel it’s wrong” argument?

    • Neil says

      But you still think of lust whenever you masturbate to stimulate yourself right? So it’s still a sin. Plus, if it hasn’t taken over your life, you should be able to stop now that you realize you’re lusting whenever you’re doing this act.

    • says

      Hey Nathan,
      Masturbation is wrong. “But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” – Matthew 5:28
      Masturbation is wrong because you lust after something not rightfully yours. Jesus said it is equivalent to an act of adultery. What can make it clearer than that? :)

      • Ronnie says

        hi Nathan, there’s something wrong with the outlet man of God..the right outlet will always be when we lay down everything in His foot..temptations enter because we always think that there’s always an outlet, which may mislead us to things we do & think as normal pero hindi naman pala..remember,”Everything is permissible”–but not everything is beneficial. “Everything is permissible”–but not everything is constructive.(1Corinthians10:23)..may God bless you more bro..

    • David says

      These people are right they are not lying to you about lust and self control, but if you need more reasons there are more.

      I do it “to feel good” – The bible says don’t do anything out of selfish ambition

      Another thing, you would not even be able to get erect without some sort of lustful thought. The brain reacts to your lust which increases blood flow to your penis which in turn makes you erect, so don’t fool yourself into thinking you are doing it with no lust. Plus lust is not just for another person, lust can be for a sexual feeling. You do it because it feels good, means you are lusting after that feeling.

      “Do not offer the parts of your body to sin, as instruments of wickedness, but rather offer yourselves to God, as those who have been brought from death to life; and offer the parts of your body to him as instruments of righteousness.” Romans 6:13

      You can not be glorifying God and his righteousness, if you are too busy satisfying or glorifying your selfish desires.

      All these things can be overcome with God. You need to pray for strength, wisdom, and revelation from God. Have you ever asked God if it was wrong? I understand that the bible is God’s word and all are answers are there, but that doesn’t mean that God can’t tell you himself. I struggled with understanding if it was a sin or not for a long time, and finally i just humbled myself. I told God I had no idea and I would never know if I relied on myself to find the answer, and i asked God if it was wrong. He began to show me that it is a sin, he began to show me the truth in his word. There are so many bible verses and references, so many things in the bible that tell you its wrong. Maybe that is why its not talked about directly because there are so many other things that tell you its wrong in the bible, God figured it would be a no brainer.

  13. Prince says

    Most times we feel we can twist the work God to make it work for us,but No,he can never change his word not even because of the whole earth.me myself am not saint but i know the truth,masturbation is a sin.the earlier we realize it the better.

  14. Ryan Osborne says

    Hi everyone:D I very much do believe in God and Jesus. I have been trying to stop for years to be honest with everyone. Yes, I am a Christian and I have not been able to stop yet. I respect everyone’s beliefs here on this topic as well . It is not right though to give an example by saying their are 3 truths in this world and one of them is the law of gravity if you jump out of the window. That is negative and no matter what, Jesus would not want that. Sorry, but I believe whether you believe in Jesus or not…We should all just be able to get along and respect each others beliefs. Oh, one more thing….trying to force your religion on someone is not giving love. If they choose to follow Jesus, they will. Not by people telling them what is absolute in the word of God. Bless you all:)

    • says

      Hi Ryan,
      I respect your opinion. I also should tell you that this is the exact mindset of the Israelites when they worshiped in the Temple of God while worshiping other gods and idols – IT MUST BE OKAY. God repeatedly told the Israelites to do away with their CROOKED ways – turning aside to the left and to the right, accepting other gods here and there. And then telling the others who kept their ways straight with God’s Laws that ‘God (or in our case Jesus) would not want that’
      You might not like me for my opinions and Bible-based beliefs. Just thought you needed to know this at least.

  15. Mark says

    I have a wife and 3 kids. The wife put on a few extra pounds. I end up masturbating which of course keeps me out of the mood for sex with my wife. I think that this is a form of sickness. I know it’s wrong but it is so difficult to stop.

    • Rose says

      Hey Mark,

      You mentioned that you have three kids and that your wife has gained some weight. I’m not trying to bash you or hate on you but did you ever think your wife put on that extra weight because she was kind and loving enough to have those three kids for you? As selfless as is was for her to have your children it is on the flip side just as selfish for you to waste your time masturbating and denying your wife the intimacy of lovemaking so you can make love to your hand. Whatever you do don’t blame her weight gain for your self abuse. Of course it’s difficult to stop so take the initiative and join a twelve step program like Sex Addicts Anonymous or the Purity program at Celebrate Recovery which is at many of the churchs these days. Lots of masturbation that is difficult to refrain from is an addiction. This behavior separates you not only from your wife but it also separates you from God. I used to go online and meet strangers in chatrooms and have cybersex with them. Eventually my husband left me for someone he met at work. He never confronted me about all the time I spent online chatting but I’m sure that my behavior put distance between us and yes just in case you’re wondering the more time I wasted masturbating the less I actually wanted to be with my husband. Eventually he just gave up and found someone else. Masturbation whether it’s to pornography or in my case talking to creeps on the internet is a form of infidelity. It’s bad for you and can kill relationships.

  16. mon says

    HI Sean

    I’m a leader at my church but I struggle at masturbation and pornography, I want to stop I cry when I pray but still every time I feel it, I find it hard to resist. I need help I, I want to break free of this. Why even though I pray for repentance and ask God to change me, nothing happens?

    • says

      Hi Mon,
      I feel for you bro. There are a lot of Christian men and women that struggle with this sin because of the rampant pornography and sexual culture we have in our generation today. You’re not alone. And the best news is, Christ has already laid out the truth about it. Read it up here: h3sean.com/mans-1-enemy-lust-featuring-gods-word/

  17. Jay says

    Sean, you definitely hit the nail on the head. I too recently struggle with masturbation. The feeling afterwards is so unbearable it feels like my soul is literally taking physical damage! This is especially hard because of the easy access to pornography these days, its everywhere! But like many others, I feel I’ve been led to your article for a reason. Only through Gods grace can we overcome. Gods blessing with you, me and all who struggle with this act.

    • says

      Praise God for people like you Jay. I hope and pray that you overcome with God’s grace. Don’t let it eat you up – remember that “if you confess your sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive you from all unrighteousness” – 1 John 1:9

  18. Leah says

    Thank you for the post.

    I have a question,

    Ever since I’ve been saved, I have lost the battle a couple times a year in the past 5 years, and give in to temptation and….you know…. (i’m so ashamed)

    I repent each time, i feel so ashamed each time and beg for forgiveness, and renounce the sin.
    But then many months later I give in again. I hope to not do it again, ever.
    Since I’ve repented many times for the same sin, what does this mean?! Am I forgiven? I do not want to go to hell, and there is mixed messages I read from bible studies and articles about it. I do not want to ever masturbate and I hope the next time temptation comes to mind that I will be strong to turn from it.

    • says

      Real repentance translates into action – of following God and guarding His glory vigilantly against sin.
      “Jesus straightened up and asked her, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?” “No one, sir,” she said. “Then neither do I condemn you,” Jesus declared. “Go now and leave your life of sin.” – John 8:10-11

  19. john says

    I’ma christian and i masturbate but it’s easy for me to do it without lusting, so is it still a sin even when i don’t lust?

    • says

      Hi John,
      I don’t have any idea how that is but one thing I do know: it’s better to keep away from a fire to make sure it doesn’t burn you.

  20. Mashilo James Matlala says

    This is an amazing & truthful article! I totally agree & pray that in our congregation we teach people how to put all this truth in to practice in a sexually charged world. I think masturbation is a matter of habit as well, no one just ends up addicted but it builds on bit by bit therefore there is a need to learn a new habit of letting God carry our sexual desire until marriage, that’s what people in the church need to be taught as well. Thanx a lot Sean.

  21. Sinothi says

    Hey Sean

    I jus read and went trhough all the article and the comments. God bless you man,indeed I pray the increase of God in your life. Keep up the good work.
    NEVER GET TIRED OF DOING GOOD, FOR IN DUE SEASON YOU WILL GET YOUR REWARD, GOD IS FAITHFUL.
    I am also a teacher of the word and this profound and great material for the saints.

    Grace be with you as always, I’d love to be in touch with you.

  22. Kent says

    Iam a christian.. and im trying my best not to masturbate. but evil comes to my mind.. when im alone..
    i always pray every morning.. that god will blind me.. if i see any lustful thing.. but i keep doing it.. i can stop it for just 1 day or 2.. pls.. help…

  23. goldengreen says

    this is one of the topics, churches seldom talk about and thank you Sean for expounding on this matter. We all do masturbate, who hasn’t? Likewise, we’re all sinners. And these lustful thoughts are what we call “struggles”. : |

  24. Richard says

    good advise,may God bless you and Sean for all ur nice post …..I have really learned from you guys….and I pray to God I stopped this ungodly act.Please you pple should pray for me that is all I need now…I belief with vigorous prayers I will be able to stop it……Thanks once again.

  25. Tata says

    hi bro. i myself am struggling with this. ive gone a week without it but i relapsed. i guess i lack self-control. but thank you for this article. i see you’re a blessed man of God. God bless you more.
    i will never give up on this battle. pls pray for me… : l

    • Peter says

      be close to the Lord Jesus , occupy your mind with His Holy Spirit through prayer and reading the Bible and not the things of the world. It’s grace not works!

    • Peter says

      I’ve done that and I give you this bro. to think about:

      Titus 1:15
      New International Version (NIV)

      15 To the pure, all things are pure, but to those who are corrupted and do not believe, nothing is pure. In fact, both their minds and consciences are corrupted

      And:

      Philippians 4:8
      New International Version (NIV)

      8 Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

  26. Bihrooz says

    yes you are right . we feel Ashamed when we masturbate its completly true. and the reason is only one thing , and its we are doing a bad work . which is distroying our life in this world and other. okey is there someone else which is doing but not felling Ashamed . in my idea he didnt bileive at God .if he bielive that he will never done it.b coz God never told us to do bad works.and masturbation is one of them .

  27. Lonny says

    Great article! Kudos to Shawn for writing about this!!

    First, let it be known that I’m a born again Non-Denominational Christian.

    Now that that’s out of the way, I want to address this masturbation issue analytically, as I am still deciding for myself whether or not masturbation is wrong.

    As we all know, God doesn’t label certain actions as sins just to be a party-pooper. Sins are such because they cause harm to yourself and more importantly, cause harm to others around you. For instance, sexual intercourse outside of marriage can lead to STD’s, unwanted pregnancy, and family problems. Murder is a sin because it KILLS people. Lying and stealing are sins because those actions hurt others. In essence, sins are sinful because of the NEGATIVE consequences that ensue.

    However, aside from feeling guilty due to religious and/or social stigma about masturbation, there aren’t any negative consequences to masturbation. It doesn’t hurt anyone. It doesn’t spread disease, and you can’t get pregnant from masturbating. It’s also a huge stress-reliever. So by that reasoning, why would this action be constituted as a sin?

    Also, Sean stated in this article that “pleasure for pleasure’s sake is meaningless”. I’m not altogether sure if I agree with that. For instance, after a hard day of work, I come home and watch my favorite television show before I go to bed. I take pleasure in this just for the sake of entertainment, which is pleasurable. Am I sinning by watching my favorite television program? Every once in a great while, I might eat a chocolate candy bar as a treat. I don’t need to eat chocolate to survive as I’m just eating it for pleasure. Am I sinning by eating that chocolate bar?

    Now I will say that the “lustful thoughts” argument is a good one, but it still might not apply to the actual act of masturbation. I do believe that people can and do masturbate without focusing on lust. Many people masturbate just to relax and be able to go to sleep.

    Lastly, I want to point out that I don’t think it’s a coincidence that we are anatomically designed so that we can have ready access to that part of our bodies if we do feel the need to masturbate. A woman’s clitoris is there for the sole purpose of pleasure, and many women can’t even come to climax without clitoral stimulation. I don’t want to get too graphic, but let’s just say that if masturbation is a sin, then a married woman can sin AS she lays with her husband (if you know what I mean). Is a married woman to be denied a climax because masturbation is the only way she can achieve it?

    Like I said before, I’m still not sure whether or not masturbation is a sin and the Bible’s stance on it still seems a bit sketchy to me. The pros seem to outweigh the cons in this issue.

    I’d love feedback from anyone with arguments either way.

    Thanks for reading and God Bless!!

    • DarwinwasWrong says

      Masturbation causes harm to ones body.

      Masturbation involves lust.

      Masturbation is not a helpful activity for a Christian.

  28. Tata says

    thank you for posting these verses. ive been disappointed with myself. but God reminds me that we already have victory in Jesus Christ.

  29. Unknown Person says

    Hi, Sean. I appreciate your post in here but I’m still confused. I’ve searched a lot of this topic and it’s not that really exact. I am not sure what is my religion yet but I love God and Jesus. And I’ve been praying that I want to have a girlfriend in my life because I can’t live on my own. As we love each other as an open relationship, we were masturbating together. I am not feeling any lust or greed to my love one. And then when we had a conference, the pastor said that masturbation is a sin because of it’s lust and pornography. I don’t look at her that way and I love her so much. Ever since I’ve heard that, I’ve been searching in the internet if masturbation is a sin or not. All of those answers I saw on their post are not clear like some say it’s not a sin, some say it’s a sin and some say that God doesn’t make masturbation forbidden. I am not a lust person. Just answer my question to me, is it a sin to masturbate someone you love in your whole life?

  30. Kenneth says

    Hi sean, there is a verse in the bible, and i want you to explain it, because it explained about emmission of semen, which is masturbation. “leviticus 15vs 16

  31. Sandra says

    Hello Sean,

    This is a wonderful blog that you made. So many people say that is okay to do so, but I disagree I think God wants us to be innocent souls and happy. None of those feelings of doubt or shame would appear after if it wasn’t for the act itself being performed. I completely agree there is a sense of feeling as if there is emptiness and it is not even worth it in the long run. It may temporarily solve the appetite and that craving of intense pleasure ( this is coming from a Scorpio). But it is not good it is just a terrible act, and it is disgusting after it is done. I haven’t masturbated for months now. I am not afraid to admit it but it’s true my life has improved so much. I feel like a lighter spirit more confident and happy with myself. It’s as if my self doubt disappeared and my life seems like it’s in check now. I love it. I am back on track! :) and for those who say that is is natural and totally normal it may be from one perspective but the perspective from God it is not okay and it is damaging your soul overtime especially if you get the craving everyday and you can’t control it. I love having self-control and knowing I am doing the right thing. Thanks :)

  32. Panda says

    Sean I do have a question. It has nothing to do with masturbation because I have realized that this is a sin whether or not people try to disagree with it because of the fact that people will try to find ways to disagree with what they don’t want to believe. Anyways my question is: is it right to read stories that contain people having sex? I know its not right to watch sexual stuff such as porn but I have read stories that have contained sex in them. Their are some that I do feel a bit guilty for like ones that use the f word to describe sex or use the words lust and want. Though there have been a few that haven’t made me feel as guilty. Ones that have actual storylines in them instead of being all about sex. Ones that use making love instead of just having sex or the f word. But are these even alright to read or is this wrong as well?

    • says

      Hi Panda,

      I honestly think that whatever leads your heart to lust after another woman – in this case perhaps it is a fictional woman (much like watching cartoon porn) is a sin. It’s not about whether or not it’s a real woman you’re after but it’s about leading your heart to passions of the flesh. God is not after our do’s and don’ts – God is after our hearts.

  33. edward says

    I am 18 years old and I’ve been indulging with masturbation since i was 10 and for the 7/8 yrs of my life, it made me unhappy and unsatisfied in everything I do. I always wonder why I can’t understand myself, why i’m not happy in a situation that is worth of a smile. And then one day God has showed me the cause of these problems, He gave me an idea why i’m feeling lonely and alone the whole time and this has something to do with my addiction with masturbation. So for now I have the willpower to stop this sinful act once and for all and that instead of putting all my energy on this shameful act I should submit this energy to love others. It is true that masturbation dulls the spirit. And now I can truly feel what happiness is. And i thank God for that.

  34. Powerade says

    Thanks for article bro. Finding it so hard to quit. Had times of giving it up only to relapse again. It’s truly an unhealthy addiction. Truly say I’ve been living a double life. All I can say that your words truly inspire me and through Gods grace I can overcome this obstacle in my life. Stay on this topic bro, You don’t know how many lives you are saving just by this ministry. Keep me in prayer. Thanks

  35. BROTHA MAN says

    Hey Bro,

    Your brave for making this blog 2 years later it’s real encouraging to read. Kirk Franklin was open about this problem on Oprah and the world wasn’t to kind to him neither when this life ends for us well be in paradise the holy spirit convictions in our lives is proof we belong to him even when we fall our job is to point our fingers to the most high cause the truth remains only one person is perfect and everytime we fall short we can rebound because we are loved by him who’s birth is the dividing line in world history. King Jesus

  36. jon says

    castration was a method used by early Christians to weaken this sin. Even without porn I am a slave to this stupid masturbation. I pray pray pray but no cigar.

  37. Sinothi says

    I don’t believe anyone is too far gone to experience the love and forgiveness of Jesus Christ.

    Jesus says, “The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.” Mat 26:41

    Read also….Romans 7:14-8:4
    14 For we know that the Law is spiritual, but I am of flesh, sold into bondage to sin.
    15 For what I am doing, I do not understand; for I am not practicing what I would like to do, but I am doing the very thing I hate.
    16 But if I do the very thing I do not want to do, I agree with the Law, confessing that the Law is good.
    17 So now, no longer am I the one doing it, but sin which dwells in me.
    18 For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh; for the willing is present in me, but the doing of the good is not.
    19 For the good that I want, I do not do, but I practice the very evil that I do not want.
    20 But if I am doing the very thing I do not want, I am no longer the one doing it, but sin which dwells in me.
    21 I find then the principle that evil is present in me, the one who wants to do good.
    22 For I joyfully concur with the law of God in the inner man,
    23 but I see a different law in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin which is in my members.
    24 Wretched man that I am! Who will set me free from the body of this death?
    25 Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, on the one hand I myself with my mind am serving the law of God, but on the other, with my flesh the law of sin.

    A great liberation has come to the believer in Jesus Christ. We have been emancipated and set free. Sin no longer has to dominate and master the believer. The Christian has the freedom to have an intimate love relationship with Jesus Christ. I speak to many believers who still think they are slaves. They do not know that they have been set free to love and serve Christ. “It was for freedom that Christ set us free; therefore keep standing firm and do not be subject again to a yoke of slavery” (Galatians 5:1).

    Therefore there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus has set you free from the law of sin and of death. For what the Law could not do, weak as it was through the flesh, God did: sending His own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh and as an offering for sin, He condemned sin in the flesh, so that the requirement of the Law might be fulfilled in us, who do not walk according to the flesh but according to the Spirit.

    I believe and know that Christ delivers out of every form of sin, struggle, or challenge, even masterburtion is no exception.

    Just like any habit (e.g. Smoking) when you try to stop masterburtion, the first stages are not easy, but if you trust God, the God of sufficient grace and wait on Him. You’ll see eventually that all things are possible with Him and this struggle will cease but you’ll have to keep your thoughts pure by being renewed through the transformation of your mind. That is meditating on the word and praying always without ceasing.

  38. JEAN says

    Hey man.

    Everyone makes his own choices. I can understand some wants to stop masturbating while others don’t consider it as a problem.

    I’m a christian and I chose to quit masturbating. The reason is that once I do it once, I can’t stop. It takes away my energie, my joy of living.

    I jsut discovered your website and it already helped me a lot so I would like to thank you.

    Jean

  39. Arif says

    Hi Sean,

    Thank you for writing this, this is something that I personally struggle with on a daily basis. Whenever I’m alone I feel my mind drifting towards things of sexual nature and with the ease of access in the modern world I feel like I am completely incapable of doing otherwise. I know that at such times I should seek communion with God but often I am so ashamed of myself. How could I have such sinful thoughts when I have just finished morning devotion or even after church? I ask God to change me, to renew me, but not long afterwards I find myself thinking about the things which I have renounced..

  40. Curtis says

    Hello Sean
    I am a believer and I feel that the physical act of masterbation is not a sin it is the mental aspect. If my thoughts are completely of my wife and it is not an addiction (constant-taking away from my relationship with my wife)
    Then it is not a sin. When I am thinking of my wife only I have not committed adultery. I would love to hear your thoughts on this.

  41. Melindah says

    Because pleasure for pleasure’s sake is meaningless.

    – I agree. Remember those sex used to be fun but it ain’t anymore? When there’s love and commitment, masturbation, like sex, becomes whole.

    Nice post, btw.

  42. Ben Smith says

    Hey thanks a lot Sean!
    For the past few months I have really been struggling with masturbation. I hated the sin. But I couldn’t stop doing it. I felt horrible after doing it and my day was ruined from then on. What you said addressed my problem completely. The 2 things I hate the most in this world are sin and Satan. But sometimes when I’m off guard I’ll get attacked with these unholy dirty thoughts and I try to shake them off but sometimes it gets really hard. Thank you for talking about an awkward topic and for counseling us.
    God Bless
    – Ben

  43. Ben Smith says

    1 last thing:
    I have been reading the comments and I have seen what kind of people you have to deal with. I just want to encourage you to never stop what you’re doing. I am sure God is very proud and happy with the work that you’ve already done. Don’t ever feel down or discouraged when people say stupid and untrue things to you on the internet. Unfortunately people like them have existed since the beginning of time. As Christians, our job is to never give up on spreading the word because of them. I pray you will continue the great job you are doing.
    God bless you!

    • says

      Thanks Ben,
      You have no idea how much your encouragement means to me. I’m just glad to help out people like you and me who are looking for Biblical answers for this topic :)

  44. says

    wow!!!!! nice post Mr. Sean! I really like what you said “By God’s grace and wisdom am I only able to share this with you.” :) I’ve been subscribing and reading your blog for so long. I want to reach out people din through social media and the internet. I’m currently creating my own blog site to encourage people and share God’s word. I hope i can invite you and other youth leaders or pastors from victory to guest post on my blog once it is finished. God bless you.

  45. Chris says

    This is a very cool post! I read some of the comments at the top about how a bunch of Christians still do masturbate and I have friends that still masturbate and are Christian. I, however, along with a dedicated friend or two, have not masturbated in well over a year, almost two. In case anyone thinks it’s impossible, I cut that out of my life and I have never been more in control of my urges. There are tough days but once it’s out for a month or so and you give it to God, it becomes a lot easier. Just thought I’d share some hope to people struggling. It’s truly life changing to get rid of.

  46. JZ says

    Sean,

    Honestly speaking, I just have before reading this article and I am feeling so guilty that I have to search for answers to the questions that have been bothering me for quite a long time. I thank God that he leads me to this blog and and thank you also for coming up with such an inspiring article. Reading the comments of the people here makes me realize that I’m not the only one who is battling this struggle. I have been wanting to get rid of this masturbation habit but I find it extremely difficult. I guess my self-control is too weak. I usually end up feeling sinful after doing it. I blame myself and I become pessimistic the way I view life.On the other hand, I know it’s not yet late for me to change. God will help me overcome this situation so to all the guys out there like me, let’s fight this addiction. So help us GOD

    • h3sean says

      JZ,
      Keep praying and keep close to God brother. It’s difficult but not impossible. Praying for you.

  47. Mark says

    I am guilty of this sin,but i pray God Almighty must surly give me a helping hand in Jesus name amen.pls pray 4 me.

  48. eric says

    Hi Sean I am a married Christian and sometimes struggle with this issue I felt a strong urge to do so today so I prayed hard and search for scripture to help me I came across this and it helped me thank you and God for this I feel victorious today

  49. liz says

    And quote:
    “However, aside from feeling guilty due to religious and/or social stigma about masturbation, there aren’t any negative consequences to masturbation. It doesn’t hurt anyone. It doesn’t spread disease, and you can’t get pregnant from masturbating. It’s also a huge stress-reliever. So by that reasoning, why would this action be constituted as a sin?”

    A response that I can give to you is:
    –>..All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins SEXUALLY sins against HIS OWN BODY. -1Cor 6:18

    So it is still considered as a sin.

    Moreover, ->put to death therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature; sexual immorality, impurity, LUST, EVIL DESIRES, and greed..- Col 3:5

    There loud and clear!

  50. Old enough says

    I’m a 38 yr old female and have struggled. Still do. Once I stopped for a whole year. I just always feel so down depressed ashamed after I do it. Like I disappoint God. I know it’s wrong though so many in this world disagree. I don’t do it a lot now maybe once every few months and nothing triggers it. Please pray for me. It is about self control and being more spirit driven and not flesh driven.

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