Ever heard yourself say “I wish I was dead” ? It’s funny how we carelessly say things in a spur of the moment. We don’t even think about the consequences of our words. Our words are dangerous.

“I tell you, on the day of judgment people will give account for every careless word they speak, for by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned.”- Matthew 12:36-37

Oh My G**

Yes we do hear this ever so often – in movies, TV series, the radio, our friends – even ourselves. And we shrug it off. It’s just another emotionally highlighting phrase. We don’t have to be too legalistic about it. Right?

Wrong.

There is a difference between being legalistic and being downright disrespectful to the name of the one true God. If you don’t want your mom or dad’s name to be the butt of a cuss word or an exclamated phrase, how do you think God feels when you take His name in vain?

You may tell yourself “I’m safe, I don’t take the Lord’s name in vain.” That’s well and good! But do you know that you still disrespect Him whenever you tell yourself “I’m ugly” or “I want to die”?

(Note: Since we’re talking about taking God’s name in vain, I want to point out that the Filipino by-word “Sus” and “Susmaryosep” is taken from the names: “Jesus” “Mary” and “Joseph” – whose names, in my opinion should be in high regard.)

The Ugly Duckling

Let’s face it – you’re not a duck. You’re a human being. The crown of creation. The image and likeness of the living God! You are endowed with the beauty of God’s great craftsmanship. Whenever you say “I’m ugly” it:

1. Doesn’t help encourage yourself
2. Denies the craftsmanship of God on you
3. Disrespects your Maker
4. Will be heard by God and the spiritual realm

Imagine that you received a gift that a master craftsman carved for you. It’s a small you – a wooden you. It moves, it breathes. It does what you want it to do. It talks with you, eats with you, drinks with you and cares for you. It’s a great and precious gift!

Imagine what the master craftsman would feel if you tell him “It’s ugly. I don’t like how it looks like.”

He worked day and night to finish that just to give it to you as a gift because you are precious to him and you just tell him that it’s ugly??

It is downright unkind and disrespectful – both to the master craftsman and to yourself.

In the end, it doesn’t do anything good.

The Breath of Life

You move, you think, you eat, drink and breathe. You are a living being. God made you and gave you life.

“Then the LORD God formed a man from the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living being.” – Genesis 2:7

Don’t you realize that life is a gift? God is never forced to give you your life but He gave it anyway. It is something good. It is one of the most precious things that God has given us.

Imagine telling that same master craftsman who gave you the greatest gift he ever made: “I don’t want your gift. I want to throw it away.”

It’s the same as saying “I want to die.”

Remember that at the end of days, our words will be accounted for.

Fleeting Words

These are simple words and I believe that we all have said them fleetingly at some point in our lives. Don’t let it pass. Take it back. Ask God for forgiveness.

And don’t ever say it again.

Other posts about words:

• Taming the Tongue
• Make your words become flesh
• The words that I would Never want to say to God
• How to Avoid Angry Words
• Being silent is being wise

The First Glimpse

Remember the first time you’ve ever watched porn? The tingles? The excitement? The shame? The fear? The curiosity? It is a feeling we all have felt. It is also a feeling that dies down with watching porn after porn. Much like how an area of skin becomes calloused when it is repeatedly battered. In order to ‘feel’ again, you will need more.

Pornography grows to a habit and fights like an addiction. Late night alone-ness, whole day idleness, and other ways for the temptation to find you. These are all fertile soil where the seeds of pornography are sown. It will grow to many destructive things – premarital sex, abortion, unwanted pregnancy, shame, poverty, rape, pedophilia, etc.

Perhaps the one common thing that all porn addicts have is that we develop an inability to be turned on by real partners.

It kills your sex life when you’re married. It can be a source of conflict and frustration between you and your spouse.

So here’s the 6 steps to help you overcome your addiction to pornography:

Step 1: Get rid of all files, magazines, CD’s, DVD’s, or other source of temptation

Don’t let it linger. Throw it away. Delete it. Purge each and every source of temptation for you to lust and to resort to pornography for sexual self-fulfillment. This is the first step. It’s also the easiest step.

Step 2: Pray and ask God for help

I cannot stop emphasizing how important your relationship with God is in all this. I want you to know one very important thing: You cannot overcome the addiction to pornography alone. You need God’s help. Read His Word and depend on Him through prayer. It is not a tug of war between your sexual urge and common sense. It is a spiritual battle. You need a source of spiritual strength and help to win it.

Step 3: Be accountable to a man you respect and who has an intimate relationship with the Lord

No man is an island – especially when it comes to dealing with pornography. The addiction to pornography can only grow in an atmosphere of alone-ness and idleness. When no one is looking out for you spiritually, you are exceptionally prone to indulging in porn. You need someone to check on you – and set rules with your accountability partner. The basic rules are: be honest, trustworthy, humble and accountable.

Step 4: Fill up the newly emptied glass. Keep busy.

Weeding out all the stuff that keeps you entangled with porn, including watching porn itself will bore a hole in your time. When you empty your glass of this destructive sexually self-serving addiction, you need to fill it up with something else. Read. Write. Join your local church in ministry. Replace it with whatever productive thing that you are passionate about.

If you are into reading, may I suggest 2 books for you to start with: Joshua Harris’ “Not even a hint” and Stephen Arterburn and Fred Stoeker’s “Every Man’s Battle: Winning the War on Sexual Temptation One Victory at a Time”

Step 5: Never give up – Always have hope

If your addiction to porn has already grown to destructive mistakes such as unwanted pregnancy, adultery, imprisonment, molestation, etc., then please know that it’s not too late. It is a winnable war.

“No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.” – 1 Corinthians 10:13

You can overcome the addiction to pornography. There is still good in you that God can use for His glory. Do not give up the hope that you can change and you can tell the world a story of Christ’s victory in you.

Step 6: Hold fast to a vision – of your future.

My vision of building my business means that I have a list of do’s and dont’s.

Some of my do’s are: work hard, read 5 blogs a day about SEO, blogging, content marketing, etc.

Some of my don’ts are: Playing computer games, forgetting to encourage my team, missing a target deadline, etc.

If you have a vision of having a great sex life in marriage, having no problems with faithfulness to your spouse, having your family respect you, then list down your do’s and don’ts. Pornography is definitely something you should stop doing.

If you really want to get well from your porn addiction, get up from where you are and throw away everything that tempts you right now. Don’t wait. Do it now.

I promise you, you will NOT regret it.

“Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart” – Psalm 37:4 NIV

A verse that may commonly be misinterpreted as “I might be able to get anything I want as long as I delight in the Lord”. But before we go to the desire part – a thought that everyone wants to happily think of whether it’s a dream job, the perfect mate, the salvation of someone dear, or anything else that we fervently want – there is a need first. And it starts first with delighting in the Lord. But what exactly is delighting in the Lord?

Delighting in this context is taking pleasure in the Lord, being close to Him and drawing near to Him. It is a relationship where you are closely walking together and being one. It is a position of happiness alone in God and as he delights having a relationship with you, you experience the same. So what does this mean? As long as I draw closer to him, get to know him and delight in him I get to ask anything and get anything I want?

Not Exactly.

You see, as you delight, that initial desire you had (whatever it is) will never remain the same when you continually walk (delighting in the Lord) with God. Because you begin to get to know who He really is and what He wants, and in that process re-align your desires to His desires. For example, I really have a desire to get married soon and have been asking God to lead me to my future wife. And that has been a constant desire in my heart but as I have been delighting in the Lord and spending time with him that desire has suddenly changed.

What I suddenly desire right now is to be in a position of satisfaction in Him alone. What I want right now is to be able to embrace my singleness and just be complete even if it’s just me and the Lord. It’s not bad to desire to get married but I have finally understood that what He wants from me is not to desire marriage but desire Him. And I can’t find any reason for God not to give me that desire of my heart because that desire is now much more aligned to Him and a product of delighting myself in Him.

This is my desire. This is what I want. That I may be able to say what Deuteronomy 30:20 contain.

“… And that you may love the Lord your God, listen to his voice, and hold fast to him. For the Lord is your life, and he will give you many years in the land he swore to give to your fathers, Abraham, Isaac and Jacob.” – Deuteronomy 30:20

The Lord is my life.

Note: It’s been a long while since I wrote about love and courtships. God has impressed this entry in my heart. I know that a lot of young men and women out there are in the rat race of love. This is for you – may God touch your hearts and give you wisdom through this entry.

The Unseen Marathon

If you don’t already know, the term ‘Rat Race’ is “an endless, self-defeating, or pointless pursuit. It conjures up the image of the futile efforts of a lab rat trying to escape while running around a maze or in a wheel.” (Wikipedia)

Our generation is a generation of feelings, a generation of brokenness, of pride. It is a generation that is filled with love – love stories, love movies, love songs.

Love, love, love.

Love that seems so real and tangible in our emotions as we watch the most popular chick flick. Love that tugs so strongly against our hearts as someone sings us the sweetest, trending love song.

Love that feels so absent and surreal at home with your family.

Love that doesn’t exist with the parent who left you.

Love that flew away and left you with a broken home. An unhappy husband or wife who’s threatening to leave. A forlorn, rebellious teenager who seems impossible to reach out to.

A broken heart.

The Unreachable Cheese

We don’t seem to have that kind of love. The love that is the stuff of love stories. The building blocks of romantic movies. The fairytale kind.

We seem to have missed it. How could we? Perhaps it exists somewhere out there. You just have to look hard enough. So with hopes held high, you march out telling yourself someday you’ll find your cheese – the ‘perfect one’.

Going through the Maze

And so begins the start of your experiment. Going through life engaging in relationships left and right. Trying to find out who suits you best.

“Ooh this girl looks cute!” Then you date a while and find out that she’s too clingy.

Nah.

Next!

We go through life rummaging through people – trying to find the perfect ‘cheese’ to our taste. We fill that longing of love with the temporary highs of the people we come into a relationship with. And then when we realize that the cheese doesn’t taste as well as we would like it to, we break up.

We give away a part of ourselves to that temporary cheese. Something we can never get back again. Some of those are spoken words. Promises. Memories. Purity. Things that are precious to us.

We are trapped in a maze going through this rat race of love, courtship and relationships because we are looking for the perfect cheese.

After years and years of the same thing and we’ve tired ourselves out – suddenly we find out the saddest thing.

There is no cheese.

Detour

There is no cheese in the maze. It’s somewhere else. That’s why we have to get out of the maze! That’s why we have to escape the rat race! How exactly do we escape?

We stop pursuing the cheese.

Muscle up

Going on dates, getting home late at night after a movie, talking on the phone for three hours, spending money for a dinner date at the best hotel in town, and the list goes on. These are some of the things that will take your time, effort, and finances away. And if you keep doing these things from relationship to relationship, you don’t realize it but you’re already constantly running in the rat race of love.

Running after a non-existent cheese.

You just won’t have any time to muscle up.

Being in a maze as it is, there is always a way out. But you have to muscle up. You have to develop yourself. Give yourself a boost! Work on your:

1. Financial Stability
2. Spiritual Walk
3. Pursuit of Wisdom
4. Emotional Control
5. Physical Discipline

(To know more about these, check out the Five Things I tell singles who asks “Am I ready for a relationship?”)

The Great Escape

Always remember that the reason why you are looking for love is because it exists! It is somewhere out there! The great news is that it has been found!

No it isn’t a place where you can go and experience it.

It isn’t an event you can partake of.

It isn’t a thing that you can keep.

It comes in the form of a person – the person of Jesus Christ!

The only person who is infinite enough to give you real love. Love that will last. Love that surpasses the emotions and goes through even the spiritual, physical,  and unknown. Love that is so simple to explain, yet it is too complex to understand.

It is the love that we are looking for.

Finally, the cheese!

Oh, and it’s more than just a fairytale! It’s historical! And it is existent even now. You can have it if you would just ask.

“If you declare with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you profess your faith and are saved.” - Romans 10:9-10

Stop Running

All those planned dates you have right now? That guy who’s texting you every night promising you all his love and even the happiest future?

Screw it.

You don’t need to run on this rat race. There is no cheese there.

I tell you the truth, that empty feeling can only be really filled by the one who loves you best – Jesus Christ.

How do you escape the rat race of love, courtship and relationships?

Quit filling your heart with the love of another finite, broken, person who will someday disappoint you.

Fill yourself with the love of an infinite God who died in your stead on the Cross.

Only then will you have escaped this unending race of stop-and-go emotions.

Only then will you really be free.

We are all bound by chains.

These aren’t your ordinary set of chains. These chains are special.

Yep.

Tailor-made for you and me.

There’s one thing in common with our chains though – they are all hard, steel-borne chains that hold us down.

They tighten when we fight against them. They grow sharper each time we struggle to break free.

They make us bleed.

These chains come in the form of secrets, addictions, habits – things that we’d like to keep in the dark.

They enslave us.

“Jesus replied, “Very truly I tell you, everyone who sins is a slave to sin.” - John 8:34

We lift our hands and we see our wrists bound.

“I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do.” - Romans 7:15

Then there’s that lock.

The lock that keeps the chains in-tact.

For a long while, the only keys to that lock is death

“What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body that is subject to death?” - Romans 7:24

Once the lock is opened, there are only two possibilities:

An eternity of suffering and bondage to fire and sulfur – an excruciatingly painful replacement

Or

Freedom. In heaven – where the chains will never bind you.

Now, I bring you unbelievably good news: Our Lord Jesus Christ has the other key.

“It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.” - Galatians 5:1

Christ sets us free – and isn’t it a wonderful freedom? So much so that we, in our joy are compelled to give Him ourselves?

“For the one who was a slave when called to faith in the Lord is the Lord’s freed person; similarly, the one who was free when called is Christ’s slave.” - 1 Corinthians 7:22

If you think it ends there, it doesn’t. We have just been upgraded to the Son/Daughter of the greatest being in the Universe.

“So you are no longer a slave, but God’s child; and since you are his child, God has made you also an heir.” - Galatians 4:7

Don’t believe the lies. There is a choice that is laid out before you. We can be bound by these tailor-made chains or we can choose Christ and be set free.

There is a place where the chains won’t bind you. Heaven is real.

The answer is obvious – choose freedom. Choose Christ.

“If you declare with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you profess your faith and are saved.” – Romans 10:9-10

It can’t get any simpler than that.

This is your freedom. Paid with the heaviest price – the blood and death of an innocent man. An innocent God. Our Lord Jesus Christ.

In the end, the choice is yours. Set yourself free.

Our Faded Glory

When God created the world, we are the peak of His creation. Made in His image and likeness and all – oh, the glory of what it is to be the best in all of creation. Adam was free to roam, free to command the animals, the birds, the fish of the sea. Master and commander… For a time.

Then sin entered our flesh.

Man’s glory has been lost ever since.

I find that somewhere in me, I still want to reach out and feel that glory that has been lost to man since the beginning of our history. Believe it or not, computer gaming is one strong way of achieving that ‘feeling’. Winning over competition, commanding your ‘character’ or ‘hero’ (a set of programming codes fashioned to move your character’s designated avatar) as we often call it. Leading your team to victory even if chances looked extremely slim.

These things are the most enticing aspects of computer gaming to a guy like me. A guy who is hungry for adventure. Hungry for success. Hungry for victories. Hungry for glory.

For me, computer games are sparks of light in a long, dark night.

That’s because reality and life as I know it, is boring, dull, unadventurous and ultimately a failure.

A Short Context

I’ve always been the ‘black sheep’ during grade school all the way until I graduated high school. I’ve been attached to playing computer games – since I was 8 years old. I’ve played in all sorts of computer games console. Family Computer, Super Nintendo, Sega, Gameboy, Playstation – you name it.

We’re a batch of around 50+ students. I had the same batchmates from kindergarten all the way til I graduated highschool. I was a fat kid (and I’m not exaggerating when I say so). I was also not too sharp with my social skills. People tell me I was tactless – and perhaps they’re right. I mean, if I was such a cute kid with all the charm to boot, my batchmates would probably have liked me a little.

But they didn’t.

And I didn’t know my social deficiencies.

So I became the butt of jokes and all sorts of bullying.

Up until today, it is not a memory I am proudly fond of.

Fast Forwarding to College

Oh college was different. Suddenly I was able to talk with girls and receive an answer of more than “yes” or “no”. Suddenly, I commanded respect. I had chances of being a leader in group projects. I had shots in presentations. I was a somebody.

Late in my first year of college, the ever-popular DOTA was introduced to me. After a horrible first game experience, I was on top of the world on the very next. That spark of light grew ever-brighter on that specific game.

I was in a sky-rocket on my DOTA career. I gained respect from my fellow players. Authority. Leadership. Fellowship. It was a very thrilling time.

Of course, there were things I had to give up – such as school. I skipped classes like jump rope. I failed around 28 units. And when I graduated, I had a cumulative grade point average of somewhere around 76/100.

Charming.

One look at my grades and I knew I wouldn’t have a chance to land on any of my ideal list of  ‘good companies I’d like to work for’.

The Chains that Bind

All through college as I played DOTA, it bound me. After playing a game, if I lose, I’d want to win so I’d play another. If I won, I would like to taste some more of that sweet victory, so I’d play some more. After 3, 4 or 5 games, I’d feel unproductive. I’d feel like I wasted my time. I’d feel idle.

“A person can do nothing better than to eat and drink and find satisfaction in their own toil. This too, I see, is from the hand of God” - Ecclesiastes 2:24

I had no problem with eating and drinking – but finding satisfaction in my own toil? I seem to be missing that.

“Sow your seed in the morning, and at evening let your hands not be idle, for you do not know which will succeed, whether this or that, or whether both will do equally well.” - Ecclesiastes 11:6

Alas, I was being very idle – and the results of which is an empty feeling in my heart that I just had to fill up. What did I fill it with?

Quick Fixes

To give you some more background, I blogged about quick fixes in this article. To quote:

“Quick fixes are injections of emotional stimulations that will get you ‘feeling good’ for a temporal duration. Usually these come in the form of vices like: smoking, drugs, computer games, sexual affairs, pornography, masturbation, drinking, etcetera.

The point of a quick fix is to feel good as soon as possible – usually without regard for the consequences. The dangerous thing about being in the ‘quick fix level’ is that you are willing to settle for ANYTHING just to boost your emotional tank from empty.

This is when people would do stuff that they would not normally consider. This is when rationality, reasoning and logic is shrinked to the point that it is shrugged off.”

Guess what my favorite quick fix was back then? No, it wasn’t drinking. No not smoking. Not even drugs.

I drowned deeper and deeper into pornography and lust.

And you know, I’m not alone in this common struggle with computer games addiction + pornography. I found out that many computer games addict are like me.

After playing a game and spending much time with it, we look for quick fixes. And what’s the quickest fix when you’re in front of your computer and the internet is on?

It brought me to a spiritual downward spiral.

Until I hit rock-bottom.

Then God, in His all-amazing mercy, woke me up.

Here I am now, writing this confession. To all the computer game addicts, this is for you. To all the people who knows of a computer games addict, this is for you. I have a responsibility to share this to the world. This is no longer my story to keep – it is God’s. And now it is yours.

In all, it is not an exaggeration for me to say that in my life, computer gaming is the ‘source of all evil’.

Look into your heart. Perhaps you and I are not far apart in this.

Breaking Free

I looked to God and kept myself busy with this blog (God and You), with business (SEO Hacker) and a lot of other things. I deleted all my computer games, starting from the one I am most addicted with.

Computer gaming is still always near me – and it is ever gnawing at the doors of my heart. I still miss those sparks of light – but I have a new source of light now. One that is ever-shining.

I hope and pray that you would find that light too.

This entry has been inspired by John Maxwell’s book “Developing the Leaders Around You”

Give them Responsibility

In the end, all successful people have one thing in common: The ability to take on responsibility

People who are entrusted with responsibility are people who have been given an opportunity to prove themselves and to increase or minimize their authority.

People entrusted with responsibilities are people you need to touch base with. How often do you need to do so? It depends on these things:

The importance of the task

When the task is critical to the organization, the more often you need to touch base with the person responsible.

The demands of the work

Often when the work is heavy, the person responsible will need encouragement. The person may also need help. And if the demands of the work is too heavy, allow the person to take a break. Demanding work can lead to burnout

The newness of the work

Sometimes new leaders are adaptive and flexible, sometimes they are not. For those who are less creative, we need to check on them more often.

The newness of the worker

New people in the team need confidence. Checking on them more often and making time to tell them the problems they would encounter can help them face it successfully. The more success they have, the more confidence they will have.

The responsibility of the worker

I allow people who are responsible to complete the task I give them – and I check the task only when it is complete. On less responsible people, I cannot afford to do that. I check on them to avoid damage, confusion and further problems.

In all, if you don’t give responsibility, you have a zero percent chance to raise up a new leader and to endow that person with authority. Entrusting responsibility is a must if you want your team’s leaders to grow.

There are numerous ways to grow as a leader – reading books, being mentored by someone, listening to podcasts, watching leadership videos, praying, reading and meditating on God’s Word, etc.

There are three parts to SEO Hacker as a company, the first one is the blog. The SEO Hacker blog is maintained, managed, marketed and monitored by me. Most of the entries there have been written and published by me and it earns enough to pay some of the bills on a monthly basis.

The second part of the business is the SEO Hacker Services – where we take on client work and provide SEO, Social Media Marketing, Conversion Rate Optimization, Email Marketing, etc – to our clients.

The third part is the SEO Hacker School which is still undergoing development in terms of content, design, user experience, etc. We are putting a huge amount of effort and investment on SEO Hacker School in hopes that someday God will use it to expand His Kingdom through the business.

I’m more of a hands-off type of guy in terms of business. The reason behind it is that I want my people to grow and nurture themselves. Have authority and responsibility – and be creative in solving problems.

If I was able to grow on my own that way, why can’t my people?

I was dead wrong.

I’ve read the book ‘Developing the Leaders Around You’ by John Maxwell before – when I didn’t have a team to nurture yet. Now that I do, I’ve been reminded that my own philosophies on leading a team will not work.

I was not following the Five-step Process of Training People.

The ways people learn are very different. Some people learn best in an academic way – where you will need to throw books, lessons and theoretical stuffs at them and they’ll pick it up.

Some people learn hands-on. These people need to face the problem, try to solve it on their own and discover their own creativity in tackling the problem.

I’m more of the latter. And my mistake is that I assumed all of my people learn the same way.

We remember 10 percent of what we hear, 50 percent of what we see, 70 percent of what we say and 90 percent of what we hear, see, say and do.

I’ve learned that the best way to train your people is to follow the five-step process:

1)      Model

It sound like a no-brainer, but really. This is where all things should start with training. Do what you need to do while the person you’re training watches you do it. Don’t start in the middle of the task because it might just confuse your trainee. Start at the very beginning of the task so that they can try to confidently replicate the task on their own.

2)      Mentor

After they use their eyes to watch you perform the task, they need to use their hands. Ask them to help out – don’t just issue commands to them, tell them why they are doing certain tasks so that they would better understand the deeper effects of what they are doing.

3)      Monitor

Now it’s their turn to do it. Only don’t let them do it alone. Be there with them. You are the coach. During this stage, your trainee will lack the confidence to do it completely on their own – so you will have to be there for them. You’re going to be the one doing the watching now. Encouragement is especially important in this stage – be positive, because chances are, the trainee undergoing this partially foreign task will have all notions of negativity floating around his head. Encouraging your people helps them to want to keep trying instead of giving up. Once your trainee gets the process – ask him to explain it to you. It will help him understand and remember – this way, you’re completing the ‘see, hear say and do’ memory retention process.

4)      Motivate

This is when you let go of your trainee. Let him be responsible of the task and own it. Don’t be aloof – still be there to encourage him and cheer him on until he considers himself successful over the entire process. There might come a time when your trainee will want to make some changes to the process for improvement – encourage it. This connotes creativity and initiative.

5)      Multiply

No doubt the best part is when they are able to teach it to others in the team. This is when your trainee becomes a leader and an authority in the whole process. You can now award your new leader the responsibility of training new team members – which makes room for you to do other tasks that help your company move forward.

This process reminds me of discipleship. When God allowed me to start my first group in church, I applied everything that my disciple modeled to me. In turn, my disciples are now applying what I modeled.

I’m sincerely hoping to apply this successfully to myself as I try to train the team. We’re a very young company (going three years now) with a very young team (our median age is 24) and we still need to undergo a lot of training. I guess I’m writing this down to share this with you and to remind myself that I need to practice this in the months to come.

I basically grew up in a family that is in the middle-class. I praise God for my dad who is a great provider. We never lacked any necessary thing – food, shelter, clothes, you name it. I praise God for my mom who is a great supporter and wife to my dad. The deal was for me to be ‘on my own’ after I graduate. Since I didn’t do too well at school because of my addiction to computer games, ‘on my own’ came in a little too early in my life.

I remember there was a point in my life when I ate Skyflakes (a brand of crackers) for lunch and dinner while I was working in Ortigas area (I live in Las Pinas area by the way). It wasn’t because I enjoyed eating Skyflakes so much. It’s because I had no money and a bunch of Skyflakes would cost me only 18 pesos.

I commuted from Las Pinas to Ortigas every day. I would walk outside our village, rode 1 trycicle, then a jeepney, then a bus, then the MRT, then I would walk around a good 20 minutes to work. Going home was not much different – I would walk to the MRT, ride it, ride a bus, ride a jeepney then the trycicle then walk back home.

My shoes were with me for 3 long years – the soles grew thin to the point of my feet being able to feel pain if I stepped on a rock. I couldn’t afford buying new ones. I was paid a salary of 6,000 pesos a month for working sometimes from 6am-12am.

I told myself that if I were to get married to a girl, I would look for a girl whose family had less money than we had – so that I wouldn’t have to provide for a Ting-hun and a huge wedding. I told myself that I wouldn’t be able to marry by my dream age of 25 but I’ll still try to work hard so I could.

I met Apple in a Singles retreat in our local church. Big 5 retreat. There were 1,130 attendees during that retreat. I was in that retreat for one purpose alone. I accompanied my friend – a baby Christian – to attend Module 1. I usually facilitate a Module 2 group, but that time I attended Module 1 with my friend. I wanted to give that time and money (I paid for my friend’s retreat fee) to God – to help my friend know more about who God is.

Apple was about to go back to her room on the last night of the retreat. I was getting to know people – introducing them to this blog (yes, I was already blogging in God and You during that time). Our eyes met, and as I did with everyone else, I also approached her and introduced this blog to her. We talked about philosophy, we talked about ourselves, we talked about God. It was a good night.

I started courting her but in the middle of it all, I just wasn’t her type of guy. And God decided it wasn’t the right time. I got busted.

I’m not going to hide it from you. It was awfully painful. And I couldn’t understand it then – but God had a wonderful plan going on.

During that time I was working in HP (based in Ortigas – again), and it was at that time that God led me to start an SEO business (which I practiced here in God and You blog).

It was at this time that I completely enjoyed being single – helping out in ministry, going on adventures scuba diving (for free since I had a scuba diving company for a client), and being able to buy real meals and new shoes! God is so good!

God brought me and Apple back in touch when I served in an event of our local church at Shang-rila hotel in front of the HP building where I worked at. I met her dad there as I ushered people in the event. We talked about their company website and SEO – and he asked me to talk with Apple about it.

I was heavy-hearted because honestly I didn’t want to do their website anymore but my friend (the baby-Christian whom I accompanied in the retreat) encouraged me that I should. He told me to keep my word.

So I did. I met up with Apple and I asked if we could talk. God opened the doors for us again. And the rest as they say…. Will be blogged for another time.

What I want to point out is, I never imagined these things would come to pass. Only by God’s grace. Looking back, everything that happened in my life with Apple – our love story – is written by the hand of the Lord. There were a lot of close-calls, a lot of impossibilities and miracles.

You see, before our Ting-hun happened, I had a client who has failed to pay up for more than 10 months. That was a considerable amount. Apple and I prayed that if God really wanted our Ting-hun to push through, the client would pay up.

God told us that it was time. At the exact moment, the client paid up – and I was able to use that money to provide for all the expenses of our Ting-hun.

Before, I never imagined that I would have my own Ting-hun. Today, that event has passed.

Looking back, everything I have lifted up to God – whether it’s money, time, effort, goals, dreams, etc. God has blessed me back – in grand ways that I could not even begin to imagine.

It is such a joy to share this story to you. A story that is impossible without God. A story that is truly God’s work. And as astounding as it seems – a story that Apple and I can call our own.

All glory, honor, praise and recognition be to the King of Kings and Lord of Lords. I am excited for what is to come!

Have you ever been annoyed by someone who has done nothing wrong to you?

Have you ever had that feeling of not wanting to associate yourself with someone but there is no apparent reason as to WHY?

That my friend, is jealousy. Sadly, it’s not just for women and does not die after high school.

This article is for men and women out there who have avoided a number of people because of “not knowing why”. It is also for brothers and sisters in Christ to remember that God is never pleased when jealousy creeps in your relationships. And more so, this article speaks to remind WHAT WE SHOULD DO when we are humble enough to ADMIT that we are jealous.

Jealousy as wikipedia defines is: “an emotion that refers to negative feelings towards someone“. It pertains to feelings such as insecurity, fear and anxiety. And because we are humans, we normally wouldn’t want to feel inferior or less able compared to others. This is of course, thanks to our logical, most of the time selfish and sometimes unreasonable, hard to please ego or pride.

So, we avoid people who tend to bring about these ‘feelings’ and say, “I just don’t like her.”, “There’s something about him that pisses me off.”

Creates a Gap

Needless to elaborate, this negative emotion separates potential best friends to become strangers to each other. It feeds on our pride that we are better off without that person. And tells us it’s because there’s something wrong with him or her. Jealousy makes sure that no relationship will grow out of both parties, thus, NO IMPACT, NO GROWTH.

Where did it all start?

“Now the serpent was more crafty than any of the wild animals the LORD God had made. He said to the woman, “Did God really say, ‘You must not eat from any tree in the garden’?” - Genesis 3:1

“The man said, “The woman whom You gave to be with me, she gave me from the tree, and I ate.” Then the LORD God said to the woman, “What is this you have done?” And the woman said, “The serpent deceived me, and I ate.” -  Genesis 3:12-13

The serpent used Eve’s emotions (a delight, good for food) and crawled its way to feeding on her curiosity (your eyes will be opened) and pride (you will be like God). And then when God confronted them, they passed the bucket to one another and started pointing fingers.

Result: GAP between man and woman, GAP between man and his work. And ultimately, GAP between God and His masterpiece – you and me.

How then can God be pleased when there’s a gap?

What to do?

1. Be Masters of Your Emotions
Writing from experience, I once avoided a girl who was close to Sean (my fiancee) before we met. I avoided her because I know (women’s intuition) that this girl likes Sean. She’s committed to the Lord, pretty, spontaneous, etc. I never admitted it to myself but because God asked me to write about jealousy, I have to admit this to you that I was, in fact, jealous. (covers face! @Sean.. sshhh)

But God being Sovereign, Perfect and delightfully, a Gentleman, orchestrated an event for us (me and this girl) to sing together. In this event, I got to know her better, enjoyed her company and there, became friends. I have been impacted by her servant heart, blessed by her devotions and more.

2. Be Proactive
Know and remember that the people in your life are there for a purpose. And if you don’t know it, then focus on this one thing – IT’S ALL ABOUT GOD. Not your feelings, not your thoughts. GOD. So glorify Him and please Him even by just being kind. Start a conversation. Offer her your seat at the lunch table. Let him cue first before you.

You will be surprised how God will bless your obedience.

3. Remember who you are
You are a child, friend, ambassador of the King of Kings! Step up to who you truly are supposed to be.

Jealousy kills opportunities to be a friend and to please God.

Don’t let it happen.

I remember when I was still studying and I couldn’t find an assignment I did days ago for our Chemistry subject. Back then, this professor was not only my class adviser, she was also our batch adviser and need be to mention, the most TERROR teacher I’ve met. No kidding, even my mom was afraid of her! So going back, I couldn’t find my assignment. And knowing that I’ve already accomplished it beforehand, I didn’t look for it until the night before we should submit it. Talk about MAXIMUM stress and fear.

This article was inspired by my devotion in Luke chapter 15 when the Bible talks about the Lost Sheep, the Lost Coin and the Lost Son. It was a reminder for me that when our hearts are lost in the world, God searches and waits patiently for us.

I also had a similar incident this week. I couldn’t find my white gold necklace. This was given to me by someone very special. First, I checked my bag as a reflex on where I most probably have placed it. When I couldn’t find it there, I started recounting my steps and thought hard. I searched through all of the places I could remember. Still, no necklace. Throughout the search, I’ve been praying to God to help me find it. I also told Him, “Please don’t let me lose the necklace, I know how hurt Sean would feel if I tell him.” When I was running out of memories on probable places, I asked people if anyone could have seen it. Unfortunately, no one did.

The necklace meant more than just a possession. It was a gift from a loved one. It also served as a souvenir of our first trip abroad with friends. And it served as a reminder of good times together. For me, it also meant sacrificial giving from Sean; a gift of love.  And I know I have to be painfully honest to him about this.

He called early that day saying he had his car vacuumed and found the necklace by the passenger seat floor. I immediately praised God as he spoke and told him I was trying to muster up the courage to tell him I lost the necklace. I was deeply overjoyed, thankful and grateful to God and to him. It could have fallen on the streets and it would’ve been gone forever!

Reading Chapter 15 of Luke, God spoke to me on how he UNDERSTANDS:

1. How HARD and DEVASTATING it is for us to lose something; moreso, someone. He experiences this whenever we give in and say YES TO SIN.

2. He knows how PAINFUL a task it is to look for something we value and treasure. He feels this whenever we shrug away that little still voice that calls us to draw closer to Him.

And 3. How FRUSTRATING it is to lose it. In the similar way, when we stubbornly continue to do our way.  God’s saying these in 1 chapter 3 parables.

Everything happens for a purpose. As I end, I never knew what happened to my Chemistry assignment. But I had to redo the work, sleep late and I learned to be more responsible with deadlines and homework after that.

God is God. We cannot always understand the reason behind things HE allows. But believe and have faith that IT IS FOR OUR GOOD AND FOR OUR GROWTH.

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” - Jeremiah 29: 11

CHOOSE TO BE BETTER, NOT BITTER.