Men were designed to lead. Created by God to be the first human being to work and prepare and lead before he meets his bride.Why then do we see men left and right failing to lead their marriage? Failing to lead their girl?
Loving a woman too much
When a man loves a woman too much, he sometimes take leading for granted. He adopts to his girl instead of leading her. They join the girl in her level instead of him stepping up. This is a major and common problem in relationships. Don’t get em wrong, loving your girl is a wonderful thing – but putting it above the place of God is a sin. Loving someone too much is idolatry.
Men have the tendency to step back and let others lead. Men have the tendency to be complacent. And when this happens, then women’s tendency to take lead kicks in. This is why we see relationships here and there where the men are silent and the women are the ones making the decisions.
There is something wrong.
“When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it. She also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it.” - Genesis 3:6
Why was Eve the one doing the talking? Wasn’t Adam the one who named the serpent? Why didn’t Adam say anything?
Adam was complacent. He let Eve lead during this time. And when Eve fell, Adam fell with her. Perhaps he loved Eve too much – more than His love and faith in God. Because he knew they would ‘surely die’ as God Himself told them.
Losing focus on God
This is a consequence of loving someone too much. Investing too much of your heart on something – even on another human being, can become dangerous. You can only become a leader for your relationship if you are following someone who knows the ups and downs, the ins and outs of a woman’s heart. God designed it. He must know everything about it.
Knowing God more is knowing a woman more. Why? Because God is the source of beauty, love, emotions, mystery, and everything else about a girl. To be able to really lead your girl, you have to seek God’s heart.
Defend your focus on God. Don’t let anyone or anything take it away. Everything that you cannot surrender to the sovereignty of God is idolatry. It is a sin that takes root and creates strongholds in your life.
“Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ” - 2 Corinthians 10:5
If you really fear God and love Him, you will lead in your relationships as you were designed to. If you really love your girl and want to lead her properly, you will love God more than her.
Leading while you are in the same level as your girl is not leading at all. You always have to be a step higher. Go the extra mile. Make tough choices. Do hard things. Live the impossible. Follow Christ.
Be a man.