5 things to keep in mind on how to love a person of the opposite sex

I’m sure all of us have had MU’s or had past relationships or is pursuing a relationship with the opposite sex right now. There are things that I think you should know when you are in any of these relationships today.

5 Things to keep in mind

5 Things to keep in mind

Don’t love the person too much

Sometimes we are guilty of loving a person too much that we don’t see what’s best for that person anymore. We do love and feel for that person but then we are too attached to him/her that we fail to see what we are doing or what we want to happen in the relationship is not the best for that person anymore. This is a very common and dangerous stage in a relationship (but I think every relationship goes through this).

It’s just a matter of realizing if you are at this stage and making transitions in your decision and your emotions. It comes down to a choice when you suddenly realize you love the person too much. You have to choose to stay back a bit and make room for God. Because as chances may have it, you’ve attached yourself to the person too much and squeezed God farther away from your life or the other person’s life.

Have someone that you love more

I think you should always have someone whom you love more. I would suggest this person to be no other than God. Why? Let me explain: If you don’t have someone that you love more, chances are you will love the person too much. Thus falling into the first point. If you have God as your main priority in life, you will have minimal problems in loving the other person too much.

Also if you don’t have someone that you love more, you will have difficulties with the do’s and don’ts in your relationship. Why? Because chances are, you will only follow what you think is right in the relationship, having no real guidelines. But if you love God more, you will follow His heart in what He says about how a relationship should go.

Define love – make it clear.

What is love for you? This has to be clearly defined in a relationship. Love is not an emotion. If it is, then things would be up and down, come and go, this and that for the both of you. Love is more of a decision – it is a choice to choose God. God is love. So what does that tell you?

God MUST be in the picture. He must be the center of your relationship. Your love for each other must be defined by God. Other than this, your definition of love will always be a blur. Make God your definition of love and things will become clearer for the both of you. Read His word. Pursue His heart. You don’t have to make your do’s and don’ts in a relationship – just pursue God’s heart and it will automatically be clearer for you.

Know that emotions serve love not vice versa

Oftentimes we get into a whirlpool of emotions and affections for the person we love that we forget about what love really is. The world today defines love as an emotion – completely an emotion. Which is just plain wrong. Emotions are a part of love not vice versa. When you love someone, emotion and affection is necessary and is present but it does not dictate love.

You have to always know that emotions serve love and love is not an emotion completely. Always keep it in your mind so that when push comes to shove and your emotions strongly shakes you, you will be firm in your love as a decision and a choice.

Never lose your focus

Things have to be in balance in your life. Your family, your work, your relationship with God, your relationship with your friends, etc. You have to be focused on other things and not only on the other person. When your world revolves around him/her that’s when it gets dangerous. Your ‘world’ as you might know it might have an early end when things don’t go well between you anymore.

A woman once told me that when someone tells her that his ‘world revolves around her’ that’s the time for her to back off. Because she knows that it gets dangerous when that happens. And it’s true! Your world cannot revolve around a single person – you might go out of orbit when the gravity that pulls you toward that person weakens.

So there you have it

Keep these things in mind. These are important especially when your relationship gets shaken and then you have second thoughts about the other person. It’s usually not the other person but your focus. We are more than guilty of some or even all of the things written here. But then we always have a choice. Choose God first and everything else will follow.


  1. Lourdy says

    hi Sean!
    Once again thank you for sharing your thoughts! Nice blog! Keep it up!
    Super marami kang natutulungan na mga tao kaya keep it up! =)
    Meron akong naaalala sa emotion is love, hahahaha! sa pagkakatanda ko ay sumakit ata ulo natin dun! hahaha! anyway sean salamat uli! =)

  2. Ratha says

    Thank you for such a wise and beautiful written blog. I enjoy reading all your blogs. You have incredible insights. I believe I found your blog not be chance but by reasons that God wants me to see that there are Christian out there like you who live by his words and not by title. God Bless you Sean.

    • says

      Hey Ratha!

      Thank you for your kind and encouraging words :) I praise God for letting me bless you with this blog! It is my pleasure and privilege. God bless you!

    • Ging Sanchez says

      God Bless you Sean, your blogs do always help me specially when I am in confusion regarding what I really felt. It’s really one way on how God answers my questions…So blessed to have co Christians who are sharing to us God’s wisdom.

      • Ging Sanchez says

        Every time I am to do something that my worldly heart/mind dictates, there your emailed blogs about a certain topic comes right on time and from there I am getting and answer and direction. PRAISE GOD for giving you the knowledge and wisdom my brother in Christ.. You are helping us…

  3. says

    Your point about emotions serving love and not vice versa is the one that especially caught my attention.
    Of course, we know that God is Love and He is above everything, so this is logical.

    Additionally, I’d like to point out that for us humans love is rather loving actions than a pure feeling — and Jesus Christ descended as the Son of Man to show love incarnate to us. So, yes, emotions do serve our human love, as it is expressed in real, tangible deeds.

  4. Melanie Manguera says

    I was reminded! Thanks! Keep blogging! This blog has been a great help for every singles. It helps me in my walk with God and I have gained insights…

    God is so good. He is using this site to encourage a lot of singles out there. Two thumps up!

  5. says

    Hi Sean,

    Thank you for these wonderful insights. I believe that God led me here and He is continuously working on a lot of relationships through you. I could personally relate to your articles and I see them as God’s message for me as I go through this phase of becoming a better version of myself through God’s grace. Me & my husband have been going through a rough stage in our relationship for months now. You are right love is not an emotion completely. We women tend to be emotional in our relationships making us lose focus on love but rather divert our focus on holding onto the person believing that it is love we’re doing. I see this stage in my life as a heed to God’s call that I come back to loving Him first above everything else even my spouse. I learned to “Let Go and Let God” instead work on our marriage. I don’t know what the future holds for me & my husband. All I know is I have a Big God who would continue to manifest His wondrous ways for me and for all of us. We just have to have FAITH.

    May I ask, Do you believe in “Wounded Healers”?

    Thanks a lot Sean.
    Stay Blessed! =)

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