How To Stop Temptation When It Starts

By Angelyn

“I’m only human, made of flesh and blood, a mere man…”

One way or the other, you’ve probably heard this song; on the radio, on your ipod, someone singing along… In one circumstance or the other, you may have also uttered this phrase in one of the trying times of life. “I can’t do it, I’m only human!”

This article is inspired by the book ‘Winning the War Within’ by Charles Stanley.

He quoted in his book a passage that struck me: “Opportunity only knocks once, temptation leans on the doorbell.”

Wouldn’t you agree?

Think of just one temptation that you’re really having a hard time resisting: the latest iPhone, that so-worth-it dress, Facebook! Have you ever felt it calling you? Yes? That there seems to be a voice inside your head that says, ‘Well, I can afford it, not that I need it badly, but I want it!’, or ‘What’s so wrong about spending a few hours on Facebook?, or these are just minor issues, why bother, correct? Then this article is just for you.

All big things start small. Success can start in a dream. And in the same way, failure and defeat can start with just a small want. Don’t underestimate the power of desire.

An extra hour or two in Facebook may cause you to slack at work, lack sleep, fall into pornography, commit sexual immorality, in short sin. Wanting to buy that Iphone and/or must-have dress may cause you to lie, to lack self-control and spend beyond your means, debt: again sin. We have to remember, temptation leans on the doorbell.

How do we battle with temptation?

“Consider it all joy my brethren when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.” - James 1: 2-4

Temptation is not sin but it is one step away. We have to learn to flee and run and then pursue righteousness that we may learn patience, endurance, sensitivity to others and especially a moment-by-moment trust in the sufficiency of Christ’s grace. Temptation is one way of maturing us to be more like Jesus, allowing us to depend on Christ in times of our struggles. Therefore, to grow is to be tempted.

I find this song by Alexandra Burke entitled “Before it Explodes”, a helpful tool for you and I to remember:

“Let’s stop the madness before it explodes

Before it’s out of our control

We gotta let it go

Before it all explodes”

We are all a work in progress when it comes to developing our character. But choosing to say no to temptation is the first step.

Being human has no bearing in our potential to overcome temptation. It may affect our desire but not our ability.

What Most Love Stories are Missing

By Sean

Sometimes you meet someone, a great person. You’d like to know her more. You get the tingles – and for a while you zoom off having the romance you’ve always dreamed of. Why is it then, that after a time too soon, you find yourself crushed and heartbroken? What went wrong? Or maybe you’re asking “What was missing?”

This entry was inspired by Joshua Harris’ book “Boy meets Girl” Yes I know I’m really late in my Joshua Harris readings but it seems as if God has put this book in perfect timing for me – and perhaps for you too!

The Kite and String

Try to think of romance as a kite. It’s a kite that catches the wind and tenaciously heads for the sky. Often that kite thinks to itself “If this bothersome string would just let go of me, I could really fly high.” But we all know that isn’t true, is it? Without the string holding it in the face of the wind, the kite would quickly come crashing to the ground.

That string is wisdom. That string is also what most romantic love stories are missing because of the tenacious emotions that come zooming off when we’re “in love”.

Wisdom is the string that tugs downward, holding romance back so that it can keep on flying gracefully as it was designed by its Creator to do so. There is a real tension between the string and kite. That tension also keeps the kite protected from crashing itself down. It is a healthy tension.

Oil and Water?

Matching romance with wisdom doesn’t necessarily mean that you do the opposite of what you want. Wisdom is simply the ownership of insight. It means that we understand how one thing relates to another and that we’re willing to change our attitudes and behavior accordingly.

If you take a look at it, it’s quite the paradox and it is somehow perplexing but wisdom and romance is the best way to tread the long, sweet and sometimes, dangerous and hurtful road of romance and relationships. Without wisdom, your romance will have no boundaries – it can be selfish, indulgent, and even idolatrous.

Can you relate?

Have you been in a relationship where you let go of the string? Usually when that happens, only God’s infinite grace – through surrender, prayer and obedience, can hand you the string back. Otherwise, you have to face the damage the kite will incur as it comes crashing down.

It’s NOT ENOUGH to simple have romantic feelings. Anyone can do that! Long-lasting romance needs practical, common-sense wisdom that knows when to let the wind of feelings carry us higher and when to pull back. When to express our emotions and when to keep quiet. When to open our hearts and when to rein them in.

Let wisdom guide you in your love story.

Five Effective Ways to Say “I’m Sorry”

By Sean

I’m sure that there was a time in your life when you have offended someone and you didn’t really mean it. Your emotions heighten, you feel some extent of remorse, you soften up and then the hardest words come out of your mouth. “I’m sorry.” The offended person turns to look at you with tear-filled eyes and tells you “I don’t believe it.” What do you do then?

This entry has been inspired by Gary Chapman’s book “Things I wish I’d known before we Got Married”

When you’re out of Words

Sometimes “I’m sorry” doesn’t cut it and I’m sure you’ve had your shares of when that happens. There are several reasons behind why some people don’t accept your apology. But to sum it all up, it’s mostly because you have a different Apology Language. It is something to help you be sincere to the person you’re apologizing to. You can be REALLY sincere but the other person will not see it that way. These apology languages helps you to reach out your sincerity to the person you’re apologizing to.

A Form of Dialect?

You might not know it but there are different means to communicate love to a person. I’m sure you’ve heard of The Five Love Languages. A study by Dr. Gary Chapman also suggests that people also have different means to communicate an apology to a person.

1. Expressing Regret

This apology language expresses itself in such a way that the person you offended should know how much you understand your offense. This apology language is an emotional one and you should express to the person you offended how much you regret your actions that hurt him/her.

Sometimes people want to know that you understand the extent of his/her pain and regret inflicting it – in order for them to more easily accept your apology. Expressing regret usually starts with the words “I’m sorry” and then it should go on to explain to the offended person how you think you’ve offended him/her.

If this is the apology language of the person you’ve hurt, what that person wants you to know is “Do you know how deeply you’ve hurt me?” Any apology that falls short of this will not make the cut.

2. Accepting Responsibility

This apology language is all about carrying the blame for your wrongdoings. Usually in a conflict, two people hurt each other and both parties need reconciliation. Accepting responsibility is an apology language where you express ownership of your wrong decisions.

This apology language usually starts with “I was wrong” and it should go on to explain to the person how and why you were wrong. The person who’s apology language is accepting responsibility is waiting for you to admit that your behavior was wrong and you understand why. For this person, “I’m sorry” just doesn’t sound like an apology.

3. Making Restitution

This apology language has only one goal: to make it right. Unless you make restitution for your offense, the person who’s apology language is making restitution will be wanting to know if you still love them.

The offense would seem so unloving to them that they wonder how you could love them and do what you did. The only apology they will accept is something that is aligned with their love language. If it’s physical touch, they may want you to hold them or perhaps a kiss. If it’s receiving gifts, they may want to receive something from you that would express your love, if it’s words of affirmation, they may want you to tell them how much you love them or remind them of special moments in the past. If it’s quality time, they may want to spend a weekend away with you. If it’s acts of service, they may want you to do something for them that would communicate your appreciation for them.

4. Genuinely Expressing the desire to Change your Behavior

This apology language aims to express to the other person your sincere regret and tries to resolve things in such a way that the offense will not happen again. For some people, if your apology does not include a real desire to change your behavior, you have not truly apologized. Whatever else you say or do falls short of sincerity if this is their apology language. In their minds, if you are sincerely apologizing, you will seek to change your behavior.

5. Requesting Forgiveness

This apology language starts with the words “Will you please forgive me?” If the person’s apology language is requesting forgiveness, this is what they will be waiting for and wanting to hear. In their minds, this is what an apology is all about. You have hurt them and they want to know, “Do you want to be forgiven? Do you want to remove the barrier that your behavior has caused?”

These apology languages aren’t magic potions. It’s always hard to apologize and to do it successfully. Understanding these 5 apology languages eases the process of apologizing and reconciliation – because after all, what people want to know when you are attempting to apologize is “Are you sincere?”

Speaking the right apology language to the person when you apologize helps them to see that your apology is sincere.

Why Quitting Should Never be an Option

By Angelyn

Quit – a four letter word that could stir up all kinds of emotions and trigger recall of so many memories; to a mere listener, maybe sadness, sympathy but to the recipient and speaker, depression, emptiness, hopelessness.

Love – a four letter word that could stir up all kinds of emotions and trigger recall of so many memories; to a mere listener, maybe happiness, excitement but to the recipient and speaker, joy, fullness, acceptance.

Isn’t it interesting

How powerful both these 4 letter words are? And how remarkable the difference in reaction it brings to the recipient of the word? In 2 Corinthians 13, the Bible teaches us what love is and how it should be. Verse 7 says, “Love always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” Do we still see much of this these days? Do YOU practice this?

I didn’t…

Unfortunately, I didn’t practice perseverance, in many occasions. Not that I blame my past but I’ve felt left behind by people I love or worse, unprotected even in their presence. I have stared at them living life daily patronizing the person/s that have hurt and scarred me the most. And so, instead of self-pity, I learned to ignore, to be indifferent.

I felt not fighting for myself, my feelings (quitting) would just make things easier. I thought being indifferent makes you stronger, and quitting spares you and the other person the pain of resolving conflicts.

As I entered a relationship with a God-centered man, together, we enrolled in a marriage seminar class in less than 5 months of being together. We learned how to better avoid and resolve conflicts through the classes and also the book Fit to be Tied by Bill and Lynne Hybels. It was a big news flash for me, requiring a lot of adjustment and understanding. And sometimes, I still find myself doing what I used to… saying ‘I Quit’ but deep down, I don’t really mean it.

“Love ALWAYS protects”. Not just when you feel like it or when things are nice and sweet. ALWAYS.

Do you protect your mom or dad with how you answer them, your gestures and even facial expressions? Do you protect your friend with your responses each time someone gossips about him/her? Do you still hope and pray to God to change your heart to what He desires for you when things don’t go your way? Do you ask your Maker to make you more patient and enduring to your boss/teachers?

To quit or to love?

Would you choose to scar your life and the recipient of your words when you quit?

I bet you have already seen how one can hurt with what you say.

“Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits.” - Proverbs: 18:21

Do you dare to live with the thoughts of what-if-I-had-just-been-more-patient? Or would you choose to love and be a vessel of light in a difficult person’s life? Remember that it’s a choice, NOT a result of emotions.

Someone dear to me advised me once that when you have said something, you no longer own it. The people who hear them now own them too. You can no longer take back the damage it has done. Decide today in whatever circumstance or event, who will you be? How are you going to react?

DON’T QUIT

Quitters don’t go anywhere. They will still get stuck in the same situations, events or difficult people they want to escape from. They will encounter the same trial once more but in a different form. Why?

Because they quit!

They didn’t face the challenge of what should have made him/her a stronger, more capable and better human being. God allowed that something to happen in your life. He ordained consequences of YOUR choices, YOUR actions. So do yourself a challenge and FACE IT. I know I have.

We were never tasked to change the world; but only to change oneself and maybe, in one way or another, change many others’.

“You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.” – Ephesians 4:22-24

“Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him.” – James 1:12

Quitting should never be an option because you have already been saved by the Conqueror of life and death.

“But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ. ” – 1 Corinthians 15:57

Claim it!