7 Steps to forgiveness

By Sean

At some point in our lives, we have found ourselves in a situation where we are asked to forgive. Sometimes it’s easy, other times it’s hard. I talk about 7 steps to help you in the aspect of forgiveness in your life.

Unforgiveness can easily fill your heart with thorns

Acknowledge that the person did hurt you

Before anything else, you have to know why you’re forgiving someone. You have to see that the person has offended you – did the person take something away from you? Did that person ruin your image? Did that person shame you? Whatever that person did to you, you have to acknowledge that it happened and that it did affect you and you were hurt. Unless you do this, forgiveness won’t seem like an option because there was no offense in the first place.

Know what you’ve lost

Before you build your house, you have to count the cost. Same as when you’re re-building yourself, you have to count what it will take to recover what you’ve lost. What did you lose? How hard did it hit you? You have to know the extent of your loss. Unless you do this, you can never appreciate how much God will move through you when you have forgiven that person.

Focus on God

Forgiving simple, petty things might be easy and doable. But there will come a time in your life when you will face a colossal problem – chances are you will find it next to impossible to forgive a certain someone in your life. When you keep focusing on that person and his or her finitude, you will always be disappointed and you will always opt not to forgive – taking the easy way out.

When push comes to shove and your heart is hardened to forgive, don’t focus on the sins done against you. Focus on God and see how much He’s done for you. Then you will see that your forgiveness is but an easy race for the prize in this track called life.

Confess any sinful reaction towards the offense

Chances are you will take it to heart when you are offended. You might say cuss words, hold on to hate and bitterness, and/or do things that are not pleasing to God altogether. These reactions do you no good. It’s the coward’s way of handling an offense. You have to confess it to God and to a close friend or your accountability partner in order for you to be freed from the burden of your own sins against unforgiveness.

Bitterness and anger are burdens too heavy for you to carry

Ask God to save you and depend on Him

Sometimes you will find yourself far too deeply enrooted in bitterness, anger and hate towards the person who has offended or sinned against you. You can no longer find it in yourself to forgive and to love. This is the time when you ask God to save you – you have to depend on Him or else this sin of unforgiveness will enslave you for the rest of your life. And what a big, heavy burden it is.

I tell you the truth, once you break yourself down on God and ask for His help, He will help you. There’s no magic, but there’s God.

Give it up to God

After you’ve decided to forgive and have asked God to help you, you have to give it up to Him. You have to throw it away, cast it down at His feet, never to remember or take hold of it again. When you’ve really given it up to God, you can’t fish out for it anymore, you can’t dig it up anymore.

Set your heart free

Once you know you’ve given it up to God and He’s given you peace, set your heart free. Know that the guilt of hate and bitterness can be conquered by Him. Trust in Him and hold on to Him rather than to unforgiveness.

“Someone once told me, forgiveness is free. But I tell you, forgiveness is very costly – for the one giving it.” – paraphrased from Pastor Peter Tanchi

What I think about girls who have had past relationships

By Sean

Before you read this entry, please note – this has been an entry of my distant past already. Thanks.

You all know that I have high standards in looking for a woman to spend the rest of my life with. My standards have shocked people and they keep on asking why. One of my standards is “She must never have had a past relationship.” I wanted to explain why I usually don’t include girls who’ve had past relationships in the  list.

They gave away some keys to their hearts – the guys can just keep coming back unless they change their locks

Girls who’ve had past relationships have given away keys to their hearts to the guys they have loved. They have made themselves vulnerable to the guy/s even if the relationship is over. She can never have those keys back. But what she can do is to change the locks.

Unless a woman changes the locks and gives them up to God, the guys will try to keep using those keys whenever they want her back. The only way to really give up the locks and render those keys useless is when she gives them up to God.

They gave away some things that should have been kept for marriage – they gave it away and the guys happily took it

Girls who’ve had past relationships have given away some things that are ideally kept for marriage. They have given away physical sensuality, and some even have given up their virginity (Don’t get me wrong, the girl I’m pursuing kept her body for God and for the one who she’s going to marry. I’m just stating this as an example in general). They have given up their bodies to someone who wouldn’t commit to them after all.

And the guys happily took it. They have robbed her in some way, but they also did not because she also willingly gave it to him.

They gave away their heart – what’s going to be left for me

Girls who’ve had past relationships have given away her heart. Even if she wanted it back, it would return to her a little less. The way her heart beats would never be the same again. Her heart has been broken and torn, and it’s color has faded. Even if it heals, it can never return to what it once was.

What’s going to be left for me is only the remains.

So, what happened to you, Sean?

To those who know me and are close to me, you know that I am pursuing someone who’s had a past relationship. Why is that? Here’s my reason:

For me to love a woman who’s had past relationships can only say how special that person is. And how special is she indeed! God must have a very, very, very good reason why He led me to choose to love her.

And I know that she’s willing to give up the locks to God. I know that she’s a new creation. Even if she didn’t keep it all for me, I choose to love her. I’ve decided and I will fight for it.

What’s the point?
My point is this: Even if you have the tightest standards, if God calls you to something else, you have to be able to surrender everything to Him. It’s not about your standards – it’s about His plans and His glory. Remember that.

Traits of a wise and Humble person part 3

By Sean

A wise and humble person knows how to say ‘hi’

No-brainer? I don’t think so. So many people don’t care to say ‘hi’ anymore these days. You tend to pass someone by, someone you know and sometimes something in us says “Let him/her be the one to say ‘hi’ first, afterall, if that person doesn’t reciprocate it’s gonna humiliate you and hurt your pride.”

The Bible says that in the last days, the love of the people will grow cold. We are seeing it now with our own lives. People are cold. Even those who know each other tend to just pass each other by when they cross paths. People who knows how to say ‘hi’ are rare and humility can be seen in their initiative to do so.

A wise and humble person knows when to ‘say it’ and how to ‘say it’ | He knows that saying it is ‘humility in words’

I wrote an article about ‘Saying It’ in this blog. Wise and humble people knows when and how to ‘say it’ because they know that wisdom and humility doesn’t just come in actions or deeds but it must also take the form of words. Even if your humility is painfully obvious in your actions, unless you know how to ‘say it’ it can never be complete.

A wise and humble person knows when, how and who to cry for help | He knows that this life needs help

Someone who’s drowning and doesn’t cry for help is someone who doesn’t want to be humiliated even if he knows he’s helpless. The people around him can see that he is indeed in need, but because his pride is in the way, he would rather drown. Does it do him any good? No.

A wise and humble person knows that he has to cry for help at some points in his life. And when he does, it humiliates him BUT his dependence on the help-giver is the real strength of a man. It is the harder thing to do to set aside your pride and cry for help.

A wise and humble person listens

Someone who is devoid of love tends to keep talking about himself or herself – things would come out braggy and proud. A wise and humble person knows how to discipline himself to keep his mouth shut and listen – knowing that the other person might impart wisdom in any way. Not talking about yourself and encouraging the other person to talk is a great form of uncommunicated humility.

How Jesus would have courted a woman

By Sean

How many instances in the Bible did Jesus court a woman? Hmmm… was there any? Anyhow, even if there was or there was not, I have some assumptions on how Jesus would have courted a woman. And this does not come from only my own presuppositions but from how I know my Lord from His Word.

Ever wonder how Jesus would've done it...

Jesus would have based His love on a decision

Of course, there should be attraction and emotions involved but I think Jesus would’ve based the foundation of His love on a decision. He knew the real meaning of true love and He knew that it was unconditional in nature – a love based on a choice no matter what.

I’m not saying Jesus will not have any emotion when courting someone, I’m just saying, He knows what matters. I’m sure Jesus will feel emotional and He will definitely go through attraction, but He also knows that His choice is what should bind their relationship not emotion nor attraction.

Jesus would have given it all for His woman

The world portrays Jesus as someone who’s a wussy. They show Him to be a goodie-good person who can’t fight because He’s too gentle and loving. I think Jesus would give it all for His woman. He will fight if He had to, just as He did when He drove out the temple traders in Jerusalem – He fought for what He believed in which is His Father’s house.

If Jesus would have courted a woman, He would believe in her. He would fight for her. He would give it all for His woman.

Jesus would have always put God first

Whatever happens, Jesus would always put God first even in His love for a woman. It’s one of the hardest things to do to prioritize God over someone you’re romantically, emotionally and physically attached with or attracted to. BUT if your relationship with God is so great, your relationship with a woman can never take it over.

Jesus’ relationship with God is intimate and close. He knew God deeply. So even if Jesus would have courted a woman, He would always put God first in everything.

What do you think?

The story about every woman

By Sean

Women are created in the likeness of the beauty and mystery of God. They are the peak, the crown of all creation. Women embody God in His love, compassion, kindness and beauty. If there is a story behind every man, there is also a story behind every woman. What is their story? What is the outcry of every woman’s heart?

Every woman has the core story of God in her

“Beauty is not only a terrible thing, it is also a mysterious thing. there God and the Devil strive for mastery, and the battleground is the heart of men.” – Fyodor Dostoyevsky

This entry was inspired by the book “Wild at heart” by John Eldredge

There is a question – a damsel’s call

Every woman in this world has a question deep inside her. That question is the source of their beauty and actions – it is how she builds herself, somehow it is linked with her identity. What are women asking? What is that question?

The way she bears the image of God lies with the questions: “Will you pursue me?”, “Do you delight in me?”, “Will you fight for me?” These are the questions God asks of us and He has implanted the same ones in the heart of every woman.

The answer of this fallen world – the sorcerer and the tower

The world, being fallen in nature will give her the most devastating answers it can deliver. It will try to destroy her identity. The world will tell a woman “No one will really fight for you”, “You are not beautiful”. Those answers drive the woman to look for her answers in any place she can find them. This is why so many young women look for love in the wrong places and in the wrong time – because they feel unloved at the places where they should have felt otherwise.

The Devil will try to pin her down. He will try to use her to his purposes. He will discourage her, torment her, he will do everything and anything to destroy the heart of woman and to keep her captive in that tower that she has built in order to try to protect herself from harm, not knowing that she has made herself captive inside it.

She has to be the one to decide to give her tower up for God to get in

A call to arms – Men have a role

I believe that men have a role to play in the woman’s story. We were called to fight for her. We are called to arms. The nature of God passed on to us is of His fierceness and competitiveness. We are dangerous men, ready for battle against the Evil One. We are warriors meant to protect and save the woman, not to steal her heart and leave her alone.

Men are made to love a woman, to answer her question with his strength. We have a part to play and that part is in God’s side. What’s happening in our world today is that men have been siding with the Devil – drinking from a woman’s beauty without offering his strength to her. We’re supposed to be the ones to back up our Lord’s promise to her – that “We will pursue her”, “We will delight in her”, “We will fight for her”. Instead, many men do the opposite. They tell women that their beauty is dark and purposed for evil – this happens when they commit sexual immorality with them.

Caught between “once upon a time” and “a happily ever after”

So many broken families, so many failed marriages, so many divorce happening here and there. We are caught between “once upon a time” and “happily ever after”. What has happened?

We failed to realize the sorcerer and the tower is always calling her back

The Devil will ALWAYS want the woman. He will always try to seize her. And the woman will always be tempted to resort back to the tower for safety. Why are there so many failed marriages? It’s because we have overlooked the Devil and the woman’s vulnerability. Men have become too passive or too violent. They have not given the woman the love she craves as God craves it.

The answer from God – the Rescuer and Savior

Even if the world tries so hard to destroy femininity, God will keep on fighting for it. He knows His nature. He knows it’s weaknesses and strength. And He has already promised victory – He has already claimed the woman’s beauty and revealed the truth: His pursuit of their hearts. God has fought and will keep on fighting for a woman’s heart. He will keep on answering her question if only she will listen and tear down the walls of the tower she has built.

The only answer that can ever satisfy a woman’s question is God’s answer. A woman’s story is a story about God. About how His nature has been passed on to them, how it was ravaged by the world and how He has saved it. Unless a woman realizes God’s call and promise to her, she can never understand a man’s call to her. And unless a woman surrenders her tower to God, He cannot fully save her from herself and the lies of the Devil.

Traits of a wise and humble person Part 2

By Sean

2 days ago, I talked about the first three traits of a wise and humble person. How would you know if a person is truly humble and wise? This post is to help you how to be one. Here are the next four:

A wise and humble person knows God | because Jesus Christ was the humblest man who ever lived

How would you know if a person is truly humble and wise? He knows God. Why? Because Jesus Christ is the best example of humility and wisdom. He had it all yet he gave it all up for us. He was God and yet He was humiliated when He took the lowly form of man. Jesus Christ is the perfect example of humility and wisdom in one body. A real wise and humble person knows God.

A wise and humble person never let’s his/her competitive nature get in the way

Sometimes we tend to be competitive in everything. If we know we are better in this area than the other person, we don’t want to listen to that guy. We want to be the one doing the talking and giving out wisdom. We are competitive.

Someone once said: “I consider every man my superior, in that I learn from him.” This is so true! And this has helped me gain so much wisdom in people! I look at every man as my teacher and as my superior in some degree. It humbles me and would try to extract from that person any wisdom I can get through our relationship.

Don’t let your competitive nature get in the way. A humble and wise person knows how to make every man his superior.

A wise and humble person never flatters | because he can give real praise

A wise and humble person never resorts to flattery. Flattery is empty praise that is meant to steer the person into what he/she likes to hear so that you would gain favor. This is not an option. Why? Because a truly wise and humble person can give true praise – praise that is meant to encourage and build the other person up. The praise of a wise and humble person never asks for anything in return. It is real, genuine, meant – it is precious.

A wise and humble person smiles | This might be simple but it’s true

Such a simple thing to do right? Smiling makes a huge difference nowadays. Humility can be seen when you smile, especially when you do it to a person you’re vaguely familiar with or is a stranger to you. It says a lot about a person when he/she smiles – it says “I want to get to know you more even if I don’t need to.” Smiling is humility in it’s simplest – try it out!

Traits of a wise and humble person Part 1

By Sean

How would you know if a person is wise or humble? Sometimes humility can come out wrong. Wisdom and humility goes hand in hand. It cannot separate. There are people whom we deem as humble but in reality they are not. There are people who are skilled role-players in the stage of humility and wisdom and people can’t notice the difference. We can say “No, no, please don’t praise me” but deep inside we’re in cloud 9 with pride. There are certain traits of a wise and humble person and for this post, I’m going to talk about the first 3.

Wisdom and humility cannot be separated

A wise and humble person will not defend himself twice | It’s knowing you’ve made yourself clear

When someone is accused, the natural reaction is for that person is to defend himself. A humble person would make himself clear when accused. He will make sure that the accuser and other people would get his point and then keep silent. If the accuser or the people would still throw accusations at him/her, he would keep his mouth shut because he knows that he’s already made his/her point and it’s no use repeating it. He won’t defend himself twice if he knows he’s already made it clear – look at Jesus’ example.

In staying silent, Jesus showed the people His difference from any other person. He was different. His wisdom and humility was enacted when He chose to keep silent in spite of all the untrue, illogical, contradicting and unbalanced accusations hurled at Him. It’s because He knows that He’s made Himself clear. He knows He doesn’t have to repeat Himself.

A wise and humble person keeps silent on gossip and slander | The truth will always come out

When accused and gossiped about, a wise and humble person would stay silent. He would not fight back with his own accusations or his own sets of gossip. He wouldn’t even try to defend himself if he knows that the gossip is false and the accusations are unreal. Why? Because he knows the truth and whatever happens, the truth will always come out. It will always reveal itself in the right time.

A wise and humble person rarely talks about his/herself | because he seeks the attitude and wisdom of another person in order to gain more wisdom

Talking about yourself will make the other person know you more – which is good. There’s no problem about talking about yourself if you’re building relationships. But you can build stronger ones when you let the other person do the talking and you do the listening. There are a lot of talkers in this world and very few listeners. In fact listeners are endangered species in our democracy-rich planet. Wherever you go, people want to talk about themselves in order for them to be loved and fill that void in them that longs for love.

A wise and humble person lets other people do the talking because he knows that they need a listener and he knows that somehow he can get to build stronger relationships and gain more wisdom in listening rather than in talking about himself.

Gosh haven’t posted for a while

By Sean

As you all know I do post everyday in this blog. I know that I haven’t posted in a while and I assure you I have a very good reason hahaha! I’ve been real busy with my OJT papers, graduation requirements and a girl. I can’t seem to write  a very good post lately because I’ve been so distracted (well mainly by, you know what).

But I assure you I’m going to write a post soon! It’s gonna be about humility! So watch out for it!!! Maybe today if our shooting ends early. My brother’s gonna shoot today for his Video Production 2 class and we’re gonna act. Hope this turns out well. I pray may we act and shoot excellently to glorify our God!

Do pray for us! =)

5 Reasons why you shouldn’t worry about being single

By Sean

Most single people, if not all, wants to make it fast to marriage as if it was a race. And if they feel they aren’t moving quick enough, they worry about it. I want to discuss 5 reasons why you shouldn’t worry about being single. Here’s reason number 1:

You wouldn't run out of the opposite sex

There are billions of people in this world. Guess what, not all of them are the same sex as you. And the opposite sex aren’t dying out. There’s plenty of time!

You’re not gonna tagged out of the marriage game just because there are no more people of the opposite sex around. There are billions of them – you don’t even have to look hard! Seriously, don’t worry. There are lots of people in this world! And if you think you’re gonna be left out on a partner, you’re a sad, sad specie. Are you living under a rock? Go out more! YOU WILL NOT RUN OUT OF THE OPPOSITE SEX!

Isaac didn’t worry

Isaac didn’t even go out looking for a partner. He was given it. Abraham sent his most faithful servant to look one for Isaac. God pointed the woman out and the servant took her back to Isaac. They got married and became partners. Now ain’t that a very convenient story? Of course I’m not implying that you have your parents send your servants out to go looking for a partner for you. That would be ridiculous, lazy and you’d probably reject whatever person your servant brings you back home.

All I’m saying is, it happens – and God is in control even with whom you’re going to marry.

Singleness only makes up 1/3 of your life

Have you ever realized that your singlehood makes up only about 1/3 of your life? The rest would most probably be spent on your life as a married person. Why do you want to rush on moving on to that 2/3rds without completely fulfilling your 1/3? I’m not saying make your single life 1/2 or 2/3. What I’m saying is that don’t rush it. There are a lot of things you can’t do when you’re married! That’s why a lot of married couples keep saying “I want to be single again” – it’s because they want to do the things they used to do before they had the responsibility of raising up a family.

Better single than sorry

Getting married is easy

Liking someone, going through love, finding a partner and finally getting married – those things are easy. The hard part is having a great marriage and sticking to your commitment with God in your marriage vows. So don’t rush going into marriage. Develop yourself first to be the best you can be in keeping your vows to God no matter what. Make yourself the best when it comes to commitment and unconditional love. Make yourself the best in terms of your health, finances, spirituality, emotional stability, wisdom, etc… There are a lot of things to consider when getting out of singlehood!

God must have a very good reason (in fact, the best reason IF you have to remain single)

I’m not going to put the last option out. If God wants you to remain single, then He must have the best reason why. God loves marriage! He created it and enjoys it! But if He doesn’t want you to go through it, then it must only mean that you’re special. That you have a duty to fulfill that can only be done if and while you are single. Don’t be sad about it! We were not meant to live this life to get married! We were meant to live this life to glorify God!

The 2 secret ingredients to Christianity

By Sean

A lot of people think there’s a secret ingredient to Christianity. Like there’s a secret formula to the brew. Well in fact, there is! There’s a secret – in fact two secrets! And it has been revealed to us! Ain’t that amazing? And right now, I have the privilege and authority to tell you those 2 secrets I’ve learned. Ready? Here it is:

If you know what you're cookin' you gotta know the right ingredients

Read the Bible

“WHAT?! That’s it?! READ THE BIBLE??? This sucks, I’m going to stop reading this article…”

I can only tell you the truth. There’s a reason that this is secret ingredient number 1. That reason is the same reason we use in any relationship which is communication. If I never talk to you, what relationship is there between you and me? None. Can you imagine having a friend and yet never talking to that person? Absurd, right? Yes it is.

Reading the Bible is God’s way of communicating with you. It’s His way of talking to you. Reading His word is listening to what He has to say. It’s building that relationship with Him. BUT – there’s a BUT! A relationship can never grow if it’s one-way. You won’t like a friend who keeps babbling and never gives you time to talk would you? That’s why there’s secret ingredient number 2.

Pray everyday

If Reading the BIble is God’s way of talking to you, prayer is your way of talking to God. Remember, Christianity is not a religion – it’s a relationship. Relationships can only grow through communication. THERE IS NO OTHER WAY. Prayer is simply your way of talking to God – telling Him what you want to tell Him same as how you tell your friends what you want to tell them.

How can these be the secret ingredients?

If you know what you’re cooking, you have to perfectly know the ingredients. What are you cooking in Christianity? It’s a RELATIONSHIP with God. What’s going to be the 2 main secret ingredients? IT HAS TO BE COMMUNICATION. Communication with God is done through these two secret ingredients, there is no other way.

There’s no Magic in reading the Bible and praying

But there’s God

Do you want to grow in your Christianity? Do these two things faithfully everyday and I tell you the truth, your relationship with God will never be the same.

Why do men and women attract each other? Sex plays a part

By Sean

Why are men attracted to women and women attracted to men? For some strange reason, we naturally attract each other. Why is that so? Is it in the mind? Is it in the body? Is it in the pheromones? It’s not like, you wake up and then suddenly you realize, you like girls or vice versa. So what’s the secret? Why are we attracted to the opposite sex?

Some of the ideas were derived from John Eldredge’s book ‘Wild at Heart’

Men and women ARE attracted to each other

God created Adam…

God has just finished creating most of the ‘good’ world – a world that pleased Him so much He wanted to create a being like Himself to dwell in it. And so He took some dirt, formed it in His image and breathed life into it. And so Adam came to being having been created by God and for God. He made Adam to be like Him in His competitive, wild, fierce, passionate nature and He said “It is good”. God placed Adam into a wild world.

Then God made Eve…

Then God realized that this part of Himself He has imparted to Adam needs a companion to be ‘good’ as God said “It is not good for man to be alone.” This fierce and competitive nature needs a helper. So God took out a rib from Adam while he was deep in sleep and created Eve. In Eve, God placed His loving, compassionate and tender-hearted nature. He made Eve in His image and likeness – beautiful and mysterious.

So what’s up with Adam and Eve?

Well unless you’re an alien, you probably look the same as Adam and Eve in terms of physical composition. You probably had the same traits, attributes and design as Adam and Eve had. You’re probably made in the image and likeness of God too!

God split Himself into man and woman. He gave man the gift of being competitive, fierce, wild, etc. While He gave woman the gift of being loving, caring, compassionate and beautiful. He made us equal and we are designed to look for God.

Men are fierce - that is God's nature reflected in us

Man will look for God

Be brutally honest with yourself, at some point in your life have you ever felt a longing for something you can’t explain? Do you feel empty – like there’s a void in yourself that you cannot fill? We all have. Men are designed to search for God. Inside all of us, there is a God-shaped void that only He can fill. But He CANNOT fill it up for you – you have to search for Him to fill it.

You may not know it, but sex plays a part

Sex is the fulfillment of those two separate likeness of God in man and woman. When man and woman come together in physical unity, it is there where we find God’s likeness in us to be complete. That act of physical consummation goes far more than you know. It touches the soul. In the spiritual realm, there is something going on that you cannot explain – your image and likeness has become complete.

This is what I think…

I think God created sex for exactly that. To find Him. We search for Him and long for Him and we realize, “wow a woman is great” or “wow a man is great”. But then in the end, we find out that any man and any woman is imperfect. Only God has that complete nature we are looking for. Why are we attracted to each other? To find God. We look for Him and we glorify Him in our relationships. We glorify God through sex. That is His design for us.

What do you think?

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